Ghana

I sit here clicking away and look up from time to time to look at my husband. He is sitting in his little corner of the living room moving things around on his laptop... and shuffling papers around.  He then gets up and goes downstairs and comes back up with his suitcase...

You see in a couple of days my husband is going to Ghana, West Africa. 

Why???

Our church supports many missionaries. One of those is the Mephibosheth Ministry. In Ghana, people who are disabled are considered "cursed". They believe someone in their family broke a taboo to cause the disability. Sometimes the family is advised to leave the disabled person in the bushes and let nature take its course. Some parents cannot do this, so they make sure their child has some food and clothing. They may not be able to afford to send all their children to school, and not realize the importance of educating those with handicaps. Their goal is to equip disabled children to become productive members of society and share God's love for them and their families.

A group from our church went several years ago to Ghana W. Africa and helped them build some facilities.  Two years ago another group went to do Vacation Bible School and a Teen Rally - and my husband was part of that group. You may think - hmmm pretty cool... no big deal.  

But if you know my husband - this trip was a very big deal.

When the first group went to Ghana and came back and reported on their trip... Ray joked that he would never go on a missions trip, much less Ghana.  He mentioned this several times... missions trips were not his thing at all.  Well time passed and our Pastor started planning for another missions trip to Ghana.  All of a sudden Ray starts talking about it, but nothing serious... just small talk.  

Several weeks after Pastor mentions the trip to Ghana, Ray begins to consider this trip.  

While on our date day, we pull up to Houlihan's and while sitting in the car Ray starts talking about the possibility of maybe wanting to go... I laugh thinking he is joking - but he was serious.  As soon as we get into the restaurant all I could do was encourage Ray to call the Pastor and let him know of his decision and that hopefully it wasn't too late. 

Well it wasn't too late and yes Ray got to go on his first missions trip to West Africa.  He came back excited and wanting to return, no one could believe it!!!  

He will be returning this Thursday to serve in Ghana - he is going to be doing VBS during the day, preaching several messages and teen conferences and rallies.  And he is excited.  I am also beyond excited for him and very proud of him.  

God sometimes has totally different plans from what we might be thinking of.  Ray said never ever will he go on a missions trip... and he is packing to get ready for his second trip... 

Its these things that make me love him soooo much more.  Not that he is going on a missions trip but because of his obedience to His call.  Ray isn't going because he wants to go, he's going because this is what He wants him to do.  

All the voices...

If you’re anything like me, you have several voices in your head telling you what to do. (I may just have admitted that I should be admitted.)

I have voices in my head like this:

“Don’t compliment your child too much or they will be vain.”

“Make sure you require first-time obedience.”

“You shouldn’t be making any money.”

“You shouldn’t let your kids watch that movie.”

“You should be good at cleaning by now.”

“You should always be submissive to your husband without any argument.”

There is a long line of voices, and some are good and some aren’t, but the point is, none of them really matter. There is only One voice that matters, and that is the one that needs to be listened to.

I need to listen to that voice even when others think I’m wrong.

I need to listen to that voice even when it’s easier to take someone else’s opinion.

I even need to listen to that voice when that voice points to how He made me…I need to listen to my gut sometimes (maybe that is the Holy Spirit).

If I want to compliment my kiddos day and night and tell them they are “good” and “important” and “beautiful” then I’m going to do that. If I know that God is doing something in my life even when others don’t understand, I’m going to say, “Okay God, I trust you with this so I’m going to dance it out as you lead.” Etc., etc.

It is so freeing to hone in on my Father’s voice and push out the others. It’s not easy (there are so many voices), but I’m learning how to distinguish His (and it certainly helps if I’m staying in the Word everyday –one of my goals).

If you have many voices telling you how to act, what to do (or not do), might I encourage you to ask God to teach you to hear His voice? Listen to Him, He will guide gently, and He isn’t in a box (so don’t assume). Approach His throne of grace, and push back all others.

If you know Him, you have His spirit. Listen.
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27

By S. Mae

My Mission Statement

For the past several months (6 to 8 months) I've been on a transformation journey to become the Guardian of the Home - of my home.

 Diane, my Pastor's wife gave this "title" to my sister when she moved to Florida and was having some time adjusting to the change.

After thinking and thinking about it I realized that I wanted to become the Guardian of my Home, hey why couldn't I?

In order to take this journey I had to pause some things - including my blogging, crafting, etc.

I had to start my taking care of my house... first part was the organization of my home. When you think of it, everything is tied to organization. If we are the Home Makers - we need to be organized so our home can run smoothly.

For YEARS I've been blaming my "messiness" on my mom... I guess its easy to pass the blame on someone else. Why my mom - hmmm maybe I was rebelling because she took such great care of her home. She was a true Guardian of Apartment 2K. She always made sure that her apartment, her home was clean, organized and well taken care of.  A time came that my mom didn't work outside of the home, but she sure did inside the home.  She took care of several children full time, and a hand full after school. So it wasn't like she was sitting at home eating bon bons. She helped us with our homework and dinner was always on the table and the list goes on and on.

The more I prayed about it and looked deep into those secret places of my "issue" I realized that my "messiness" was not due to me being "rebellious" but rather me being lazy. Oh my, yes I said it... my laziness!!!! I just didn't want to, moving stuff around was simple enough. I preferred to watch tv, be on the computer, or look away.  Ahhhhhh. No more excuses. It was time for change. Change is hard, but it was something we all had to do.

When did this happen, how did it happen??? Well those questions no longer mattered. It was affecting my life and the lives of my husband and children negatively, and I needed to acknowledge how bad it really was in order to make changes.

My messiness has nothing to do with having a dirty house. My house is pretty much clean... the problem is STUFF... much of my stuff is homeless, my stuffs are gypsies - they travel from corner to corner, room to room. Why??? I don't know... and this "stuff" made me suffer from DPD - (Doorbell Panic Disorder).

So I started thinking why do I want a clean home... I came up with three basic points:
I love having people over – to hangout, for coffee, Bible study, etc. and so hospitality is a huge reason why I like to have my home clean.

I also felt that health (hygiene) was another important reason. I don’t want bugs! Haven't had them and don't want them. I love it when my kitchen is clean and sparkling, and I really like the bathroom to be CLEAN!  Those rooms are like the jewel to a home.  With three little ones the bathroom is not always and it can make me insane! I don't want to have to run into the bathroom when guests come by and do a speedy check!!!

Its sooo easy to justify it - many people have said: You work, you have three young kids, you do ministry, etc., etc. - and for some time I was like "Yeah, my home can be like this because of all these reasons"... but then the word Stewardship came to mind (which means: the conducting, supervising, or managing of something; especially : the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care).  Ouch!!!

You see - we didn't get this house, we had nothing to do with it. I remember we saw it and we were excited about it and before we even went in to see it, my husband and I sat across the street in our car and we prayed for this house. God gave us this house... and He wants it to be taken care of, He wants us to use it for His honor and glory. Therefore that means that I have to take care of it and teach my children to take care of it... keeping it clean, picking things up, putting things away, etc.

And then finally happiness. It makes me happy to walk in the house and have it be clean – or rather tidy! I know it’s not always dusted and the baseboards are not always clean, but tidy…tidy is the goal.  Its a tremendous feeling coming home and seeing how wonderful it looks!!! It not perfect but I'm really enjoying the change.  I want to walk into a room and literally be able to WALK in the room. LOL I have a place for everything and having everything in its place makes me happy.  And when mom is happy... everyone seems happier!!!

I haven't reached my journey, but its looking good... I'm happy, my children are picking up on it. So now I begin to improve on the changes, take it up another level... I'm excited!!!

Hola!!!

I'm back!!!

Wow its been a while since I've had the opportunity to share with you - but there's been alot of stuff going on in my life, alot of lessons being learned and relearned.

Some lessons I breezed through and passed with flying colors - high five God!!  Woop Woop and others - I can just see Him looking down at me shaking His head wondering why I'm still not getting it.

But in the midst of these lessons I've been able to discover and learned alot about myself... I've changed a few things and am realizing many things that I still must change.

I have always said that my life verse is Psalm 37:4 - Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. If I am to be honest, there was a time that I stopped delighting myself in Him.  I went through the "motions" but with no real joy or delight.   I need to go back to delighting myself in Him.  A very very special and wise woman has shared with me that God is not interested in how busy we are but in who we are becoming.  Who am I becoming??

After thinking and thinking and praying on this - it hit me deep.  In my busyness I have let many things fall through the cracks - so its time to change some things - and I'm excited, I'm excited to be able to turn the page and start a new chapter and share this journey with you.

Finding my delight in Him
xoxoxo

My Pain...

I can remember when it started... I was 12 or 13 - but I do remember clearly the day... it was a Saturday... it was a beautiful day, the sun was out, the trees were green... and the sky was blue...

It started out like a headache...  a little discomfort... nothing crazy... and then little by little it just got worse.

My first migraine experience.

I still remember the little Bayer bottle... it was clear with its yellow label and its cotton ball inside.  My mom gave me two aspirins and told me to go and lie down and it did nothing.  How I wish I could have taken the whole bottle to kill the pain.

Years later I sit here...  feeling the throbbing pain on the left side of my head.  I don't know which direction the piecing pain is coming from.  It feels like a long needle being inserted either into my eyeball and exiting the lower back of my next or maybe its coming in the other way around...  either way I've always wondered if I were to pull my eyeball out, would that stop the pain.

This "episode" isn't too bad.  I have been able to function these past couple of days.

Its funny how one can sometimes feel "it" coming on....
my breathing will change...
the sensation in my arms and fingers change...
my mouth gets dry...
and little by little
sound bothers me
light bothers me
smells bother me
and when it gets bad... each strand of my hair begins to hurt and my own breathing bothers me

They say going into a quiet room with the lights off helps... and this is true sometimes...
but then you are left alone with this pain.
I try to control my breathing
I try to relax each and every single muscle of my body
I pray
I try and get comfortable
I rub my head, my neck...
and maybe the peace of sleep comes and takes me away for a little while

But what hurts me the worse... is that when I am hurting...  I feel that I hurt my children by not being there.  I send them away to play...  or to be ultra quiet...  I end up getting upset at the slightest things... but how does one explain this excruciating pain to a child without frightening them.  They try so hard to help... especially my oldest, who will do anything to make me feel better...  my precious one.

And then I pray that if it means having to endure this pain tenfold in order to protect my kids from it - let it be.   When I hear one of them say they have a headache - it sends shockwaves through my body...

I thank God for my husband... who sometimes doesn't quiet understand what is going on... but he tries and he tries so hard... to help more with the kids, to give me the space that I need, does anything to make me comfortable, he loves me so.

I don't know if this will ever go away.  I've been to so many doctors and had so many tests done.  I've tried so many different medications... and the pain is still there.  Anything can set it off, hormones, stress, the temperature, the day, life...

Maybe just another day or two or three and the pain will be no more... at least for a while... until it comes to visit me again.

Que Pasa with these girls???

Today while driving to work I spotted two young girls - maybe 16 years old walking to school dressed provocatively and smoking.

I had to looked several times to make sure that I saw what I saw... now it was not just the way they were dressed but the fact that they were smoking!!

Did these parents know that their young daughters are smoking!!???!!!  Don't these girls have any fear of being caught??!!??  Don't they know the health risks???  How did they get it?   People wonder what is happening with the youth.  They want to blame it on the schools, teachers, friends, society, etc... but no parent wants to take the blame for anything that happens to their kids. Children no long fear their parents but parents are scared of their children!!

Gosh I really think that with each year that passes by I'm starting to sound like my mom lol!!!  When I was young she let me be sort of fashionable... but it was stuff that she approved.  From tops, to jeans, to sneakers to shoes.  Even when it came to makeup she was tough on that... I remember when I was in the 8th grade and I "stole" one of her eyebrow pencils... LOL - the memory still cracks me up... I almost took out an eye trying to apply that stuff...  it didn't go on smoothly at all LOL... and then to try and remove it before I got home so she wouldn't notice - I realized it was way to much work for a little bit of eyeliner... Oh the consequences!!!  But everything was in stages... there was a time for everything... heels, makeup, hair, etc...  I don't think I was ever "deprived".  

My dad was a smoker and a drinker... but he made it very clear that it was not for us...  Yeah maybe a little hypocritical... but it was made clear that we were not to pick up a cigarette or a drink. 

My daughter is 10 and she is growing up quickly, its scary...  she knows that smoking is not even a consideration, nor is drinking. We talk about it with every opportunity I see present itself.  Even though she wants to be very very fashionable - I hold those reigns tight...  And constantly remind her that even though it might appear cute and she would love to do it, we both have to remember that she is only - yes only 10, not 12, or 14...   All this didn't just happen yesterday, but many many years ago...  I have been teaching her that her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit... she is a princess - God's princess... therefore she has to act, dress and behave a certain way and these are non negotiable and she knows it.  Sometimes its hard for her to understand and she gets upset but I keep explaining it over and over to her again... If I give in now at 10... in a year from now how can I pull back?  I know this might all change and each year will bring its challenges... but at least she is aware that actions will have consequences - in love of course...

Today's Hug

22 years ago I gave birth to this is tiny little boy... in May he'll turn 23... He was this skinny little baby.  My mom swore he was the ugliest baby she had ever seen.  

Today while I was helping out in the kitchen at church - he came over to show me something... I couldn't step away but I'm glad I didn't...  because at that moment I hugged him and he wrapped his arms around me and I was enveloped in him.  It was when I realized that my baby - was taller than I was and had arms that went all around me (and mind you I'm not a skinny person)...

He is not shy of hugging his mom and has done so often...  but tonight I sit here and think back on that hug.  He is probably sleeping now or watching some basketball game... but he doesn't know how much that hug meant to me. With all our ups and downs, all those nutty moments, the tough ones, funny ones, painful ones... my son hugged me today and today my heart melted, it was priceless and how I longed to have bottled it up... 

I am reminded of my favorite book that I would read to time ever since I was pregnant with him... "Love You Forever".  I still have the book... its starting to fall apart... but there is one song that she sings to her baby boy:

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be

Its funny how a hug melts right through us and reaches our heart...

Coloring

This weekend as we rushed through K-Mart we decided to pick up coloring books for the kids... Elizabeth and Priscilla chose Barbie themed and Caleb of course went for the superheros...

We got home and I didn't know how enjoyable it would be seeing them color so intensely... the effort and the concentration that went into it. It bought back so many memories of my sister Elizabeth...  Elizabeth is my stepsister... my dad's daughter...  I have always looked up to her.  She was tall and skinny and beautiful.  She had this great big smile and had beautiful dark hair and wore those Farrah Fawcett type heels.  She didn't live with us but would come and visit from time to time.

One of my fondest memories with her was coloring. Her secret was pressing down hard on the lines and then with the same color of crayon, color softly on the inside...  I would oooh and ahhhh as she would color... and then try and imitate her.  And then to finish her masterpiece, she would put her signature on her page - and she had the prettiest script...

Yesterday Priscilla invited me to color one of the pages in her book... she of course chose the colors because she is an expert in Barbie Princesses... and as I colored and followed the instructions given to me - I thought back to my sister... something as simple as coloring can leave the most beautiful memories that bring a smile to our face and that we cherish forever...

My sister taught me many things that I hold dear to my heart... to appreciate coloring was one of them...

I Believe...

I believe in manicures.
I believe in overdressing.
I believe in primping at leisure
and wearing lipstick.
I believe in pink.
I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.
I believe in kissing; kissing a lot.
I believe in BEING STRONG
when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day, and
I Believe in Miracles.

Audrey Hepburn

Painful Lessons

Still thinking of my dear friend...  and how quickly life changes... how true it is... life is but a vapor.

No answers can give the heart peace... a constant searching and wondering why Lord why...

Yes I do believe my that Lord and Savior had a reason and a purpose.  

Yes I do believe that He is now rejoicing with the Lord

Yes I do believe that one day I will see him again

But the heart still aches... the flesh mourns...

In a few days an unfortunate situation will bring me together with so many brothers and sisters in Christ - whom I have missed so so much... that for whatever reason I have lost that "touch" with... 

Painful lessons are sometimes the most important in life. Don't let circumstances of whatever kind bring distance between the heart... 

Never lose touch

Always say I love you to those near and dear to your heart

Hug often

Share a word of encouragement and support

Laugh

Forgive

Share

Love 

Love 

and love some more...

In all that we do - let us leave behind a legacy of love, of Jesus... that when others mention our name - they remember how much we loved our Lord... how we served Him... how we shared His love... how much we loved others in His name.

Rest in Peace Arturo Mota

Trying to put my feelings into words...  

But they don't come to me...

My heart aches...

The tears fall... 

So very sad...

Not a Happy Blogger

I wanted to apologize to those who were trying to read my blog and couldn't get in.  I didn't realize this til today when I got an email today from my friend letting me know that my blog was blocked... that she couldn't access it and was wondering what had happened.

Ughhhh

When I checked my settings were all off and all of my entries for February and March are no longer there.

Thanks for letting me know... but as of tomorrow I'll be back blogging...  

Fruits and Work

Photo by Emmanuel Gundran

Wow what a week!!! It started off a little bumpy, well alot bumpy -  but we got into some smooth sailing.

I am happy to say that dinner was completed for the whole week (with the exception of Monday and Friday). The Sweet Citrus Chicken was yummy.... different but good, I tried a new meatballs menu which was also yummy!!! So I'm happy to be able to add a couple of new items to the Cabrera Menu. The kitchen was clean all week - I was able to keep the countertops free of clutter!!! And so was the living room and bathroom. Even Priscilla was into making sure her room was clean and her bed done.

I realized that it took work. It wasn't about just lounging around but active work, keeping on top of things. Tonight I sit here and look around and it looks a little crazy... it was Ray's birthday today so we spent the day celebrating him, and tomorrow will be Part II and Sunday is church. So Monday we will start all over again... but I'm excited. I'm excited because even the kids are into it (sometimes they need some "encouragement" but they seem motivated).

All week long the Lord was speaking to me through Galatians 5:23, 24 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. And Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

I realized that I needed so much more of the of the fruits of the Spirit so that my house could be a home... and in doing these things remembering that whatever I do, whether it be laundry, vacumming, washing dishes or scrubbing the floors... I have to do it with all my heart as working for the Lord, not for men.... Even though I am sure it would make my hubby and children happy - it does bring me so much more joy to know that in creating my home, I am serving the Lord.

Tonight during youth group - I shared these thoughts with the Jr. High School girls.  We have to make sure that they realize that we are not perfect and that we don't have it all well put together nicely and neatly - but that we are trying, but not just sort of trying - but a trying with action.  Again - its easy to talk the talk - but what do our kids see / hear us doing... do they see us exhibiting those fruits of the Spirit?  Do they see us working with all of our heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.   

Isn't it wonderful when we experience a light bulb moment... when the Holy Spirit speaks clearly to our hearts and we get it.  Yep that is what happened.  Its not so much that I have a chore list for the kids and expecting them to do it... yes it will get done... but have I taught them "how"?  That is the most important lesson.  

I guess I'm back to square one.  Gotta to revamp my chore list.  I have to begin by learning the basics - its not how you hold the mop, how the beds are made, or if the clothes are folded neatly... Its about integrating the Fruits of the Spirit and doing it for the Lord - with praises on our lips for Him.  

Producing...

Several days ago I was reading a blog written by my sister in Christ, Ligia.

(http://ligia-cwm.blogspot.com/2011/01/wow-god-wednesday.html)  The following excerpt from her blog really struck me. It reads:

Picture by Emmanuel Gundran

"my wow moment happened in a conversation that i had with my dear friend Jennifer. She was sharing her thoughts on the book by Chip Ingram entitled "Effective Parenting In a Defective World". As I have been reading Mr. Ingrams book I find that our goal for parenting Jaden should be more about modeling the person we want him to be. 

In his book Mr. Ingram says “Remember that you are not called to produce successful, upwardly mobile, highly educated, athletically talented machines… Giving your children great opportunities is good; it is not, however, the goal of parenting. Christlikeness is. Above all, seek to raise children who look and act a lot like Jesus.” Chip Ingram, Effective Parenting in a Defective World (Tyndale, 2006)"

This is so very true... but it makes me think... isn't it easier to produce successful, upwardly mobile, highly educated, athletically talented children? How hard can it be... drive them here or there to different activities, cheer them on... and keep pushing them, to miss church, not read the Word because everyone is too busy.  (Please note that I do believe that helping your children strive, giving them opportunities, helping them succeed is not a bad thing, but there has to be more to it).  When I say that it must be easier - its because when I read the second part of that statement "that we should seek to raise children who look and act alot like Jesus" that would mean that they would need to see that also displayed and modeled in us. Not just by the Pastor, deacons, ministry leaders... but by us, their parents. How we talk, dress, behave, what we watch on t.v., listen to on the radio, treat others... etc., etc. How much are we willing to let go of, change, sacrifice, not just for us - but as examples to our children. 

It doesn't happen overnight, or a couple of days, or months... its not a magic pill or a magic wand. Its one day at a time, its seeking Him, praying, reading the Word... Its hard - I know it is for me... alot of times I stumble and am not a model of Jesus... but Praise God that He doesn't give up on us... we are like children in His eyes... and He keeps loving us... In those tough moments - let us take a deep breath, focus our eyes on Him and let our children see Jesus in us...

Tomorrow is another day...

Ughhhhh - so what did I have planned for today???  Oooooooh - and what did I accomplish????  Hmmmmm

Wow what an afternoon.

Everything just seemed to go downhill.  

I had the best intentions. 

I was so excited today throughout the entire day.  

Everything was planned out for today to the "T".  

And its funny how one or two things can just set things into nuttiness.  Missing an ingredient or two or my new recipe... so run to the supermarket, a change in schedule - beyond my control, helping my mother in law with some urgent phone calls - and before I knew it I was typing www.Dominos.com - and it was delicious!!!!

It was a little discouraging for a while but - but I learned alot which will help me prepare for tomorrow.  

This afternoon:

I was able to have a teachable moment with Elizabeth

I was able to complete a project for a friend

I was able to listen to Caleb read his book on Jesus (with minimal help)

I was able to organize my project for all my beautiful girls

I was able to help my mother in law

And in doing these things I was able to see areas that I needed to put more effort into and tweak a little better.  But in the midst of all this - there was sooo much to be thankful for... One being that I was very very thankful that God has allowed me to work close to home, that I can be able to pick up my kids right after school, that I have a wonderful babysitter.  It made me think that if it was nutty today, I couldn't imagine getting out of work at 5 to rush to pick up the kids, to rush home and start homework and dinner and etc., etc., ahhhhhhh

So "my" schedule didn't go as planned, but everyone got fed.  We got to spend some time together.  I have all my ingredients ready for tomorrow and for dinner for the rest of the week.  And I feel good.  

And while doing all this - I sit here and look at my husband and smile.  He knows me so well...  and loves me so much.  I am very thankful for him, for my children, for my life...  looking forward to tomorrow!!!!

Too much Clorox...

Sooooo, if in reality I did have my own show... I would have to cancel my show for today and the news stations would have been filming me from my hospital bed.

Due to all the Clorox I inhaled yesterday during my cleaning spree... my body REFUSED to give me a second wind of energy.   So from my couch - I was thinking of ways of how I would educate my "audience" on the dangers of too much Clorox use. (woooo hoooo but my bathroom sure did smell good today lol).  So after considering against using some sort of "mask" for cleaning, I am excited to say that tomorrow right after work I am hunting down a Mr. Clean product!!!!  Its some sort of Mr. Clean spray thing that smells like Febreeze Rain scent... mmmmm and I love rain scent products!!!!  And supposedly it works REALLY good!!!!  Yes yes yes, I know what some of you are thinking - I can just use regular Mr. Clean - but how exciting would that be?  So to my lovely audience - CAREFUL with too much Clorox!!!

But I'm on a roll - yes sir I am!!!  I've already got my menu for the week!!!!  Home Simple had this really cute Menu Planner I'm going to start using (just can't use any sort of stuff - have to make sure its cute and pretty!!!)  So manana.... I'm going to try a new recipe - Sweet Citrus Chicken.  I'll let you know how it works!!!  All this organization and stuff is kinda of scary but it is time!!!  The hubby is going to be studying more, we are going to start working out and I'm going to start crafting (I have to work on some pretty gifts for my sweet, precious and beautiful daughters, nieces and girls at my church!!!  All the supplies have come in so its time to see how this will go).

Today, I was listening to Maya Angelou - and she said something to the affect that we teach all time, all of us do - whether we know it or not, whether we take responsibility for it or not... and in order to teach others we have to be walking the walk... we can't just talk about it or tell others to do it.  So if I want my kids to pick up their rooms and be organized - they can't just hear me YELL it at the top of my lungs... I have to be doing it also, consistently... so I am going to TRY really hard to do this... My home has become a house - its time to make it a home once again.

Something to try this week:
After sharing something with someone very special to me she recommended that everyday I say 10 affirming things to each person in my family.  Whoa - 10!!!!  That seemed like alot... but I'm going to do it... why don't you try it too... with your husband, children, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.... throughout the day share with them words of affirmation.

Welcome to today's episode...

I don't know what bug I got today but let me tell you it was BAD!!!

My hubby let me sleep in late today, the kids were good - so I thought it was going to be one of those wonderful and relaxing Saturdays.  I made some french toast for breakfast.... ahhhhhh and then it hit me!!!  Was it something in the syrup??!!!

All of a sudden all I wanted to do was CLEAN!!!!  LOL.  It started off small, like dishes and stuff... and then the pantry and then the kitchen cabinets and before I knew it I couldn't stop.  I was going going and going!!!!  I am know lying down resting my sore muscles and looking for an oxygen tank - I think I inhaled too much Clorox (part of me thought it was water - so I kept spraying it and splashing it all over) LOL.    

Ray warned me to take it easy - but I was really enjoying it.  

But for those that know me - know that there must be a twist around all of this!!!!  The crazy part (and I don't know if this happens to you - but it does to me quite frequently) that this was all a part of my own TV show!!!   (Not a real TV show - but just in my "head") LOL!!!!  I was cleaning, organizing and doing all these things and talking to my "audience"... it was like:

Good Morning my friends.  I hope you are doing well.  Welcome to a Creative Mess.  How many of you have a cluttered home... kitchen cabinets all full of stuff... you can never find anything, but then they are bursting full!!!

Well ladies on today's show we are going to talking about cleaning our home and we are going to start by  organizing the Kitchen... 

I shared with my audience the importance of checking expiration dates, the need for keeping fish crackers in plastic bins, dividing the shelves for easy access...  

And we'll be right back after these messages from our sponsors.  And on and on I went.

But it kept me going!!!  Yay... I did the whole upstairs - including my bedroom, which by the time I usually get to it I'm to exhausted to do anything in there.  

I know I'll get a second wind in a couple of hours... and I'll go back to another episode of my show and work on the floors!!!

So for now...  I'll hang out on my comfy couch and watch a couple of UFC fights and wait patiently for the second wind to kick in...

Collected Wisdom by Noel Piper

Today I found the blog to the wife of John Piper, Noel Piper.  He is such an awesome preacher and author that I had to take the time and check out her blog.  OH MY GOODNESS!!!!  Its incredible.  But what is so much more incredible was her blog entry for today...  her blog is http://noelpiper.com/ so that you can go and read her posts.

Her blog today is titled:  Collected Wisdom... and this is what it said (I hope it super duper blesses you as it has me):

Last night there was a bridal shower. The women who attended were friends of the bride’s mother.

Most of us are not crazy about shower games. So instead, we went around the circle and answered two questions: How did you become friends with the family and what one bit of wisdom would you like to offer the bride?

Of course, there’s lots more that could be said, but here are the impromptu responses:

• When there’s trouble, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you or with him or something wrong with your family or his–it’s because God made you different than each other.
• Marriage is for sanctification.
• Remember no one will love him like you do.
• Read the Bible together every day.
• Pray together.
• Hold onto Jesus.
• Remember that all marriages are cross-cultural.
• Laugh a whole lot, especially when things are crummy.
• Never criticize him in front of other people.
• Let your behavior be respectful even when you don’t feel like it. Politeness like “please” and “thank you” can help clear the air.
• Be patient.
• Do things together, and time alone is important too.
• Appreciate each day. Don’t let things hang over from the past and don’t worry about the future.
• If you’re not feeling well, let him comfort you, and don’t go hide under the covers.
• Keep pursuing each other and learning each other.
• Make room for silliness.
• Stay friends.
• Learn how to celebrate together. You live close to your families, but make your own celebrations too for Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.
• Be as crazy as you can at home, then when sober times come, you can be sober. I hope you’ll have more than 62 years like we have.
• Let him be head of your house, and Jesus be head over all.
• Know every day about God’s sufficiency–not just in hard times, but all the time. I pray that God will lavish future grace on you.
• Go on the mission field. That will put everything to the test.
• Pray. Hug. Laugh.
• I wasted too much time wanting my husband to be what he wasn’t. Your husband is who you’ll know best from here on out. Enjoy who he is.
• Read out loud together.
• Launch out and be your own family, but remember you can call your mother anytime–and any of these friends too.
• A threefold cord is not easily broken. Please keep Jesus as the third strand in the cord of your life together.

We showered our bride with tangible gifts that should last a few years. But this love that showered from clouds of experience is good for a lifetime.

Written by Noel Piper

In Awe...

I love music!!!  And I LOVE to sing... nope I'm not a singer but in my heart I am.

There are songs that can take you back to certain times in life...

Like when I was young and my mom teaching me to dance... or our trip to Dominican Republic... 8th grade, High School, etc...  They don't do anything for you - just fun to listen to and reminisce and laugh...

But its different when you come to worship the Lord.

There are some songs that I hear or sing that instantly take me into the presence of the Lord.  Its not about the song or the music... its not a feel good thing - but its coming to the Lord and offering these words as a fragrant incense to Him as worship... as a prayer.  When I sing to the my Lord and Savior - I don't want to offer him up just words... but my heart... to praise Him with all that I have but then at the same time its a feeling of unworthiness.  Here I am a sinner coming into his presence offering up these words to Him... the one who died on the cross for me... Its indescribable.  

The latest song that I continually am offering up to my Lord is:  I Stand by Hillsong United.

The lyrics are:

You stood before creation - Eternity within Your hand - You spoke the earth into motion - My soul now to stand - You stood before my failure - Carried the Cross for my shame - My sin weighed upon Your shoulders - My soul now to stand - So what can I say - What can I do - But offer this heart O God Completely to You - So I'll walk upon salvation - Your Spirit alive in me - This life to declare Your promise - My soul now to stand - So what can I say - What can I do - But offer this heart O God Completely to You - So I'll stand With arms high and heart abandoned - In awe of the One who gave it all - So I'll stand My soul Lord to You surrendered - All I am is Yours

When I think of the words of this song... my heart aches - are the words that I am singing true...  Am I surrendering 100% of my soul to the Lord... Am I offering my heart completely to Him... to the one who carried the cross for my shame...  I desire to love Him more... serve Him more...  share Him with others more...  My desire is to stand with arms high and heart abandoned!!!   I love my Lord... my Father, Creator of Heaven and Earth, the King of kings...the Alpha and Omega, the living Word, the Lamb of God, the Rock, my Savior.

Marriage...

My sister in Christ, Ligia has a blog Mary or Martha. In one of her entries she listed "7 things that she learned about herself in 2010".  Point #1 really struck me:

"That its ok to share with others that I am in a happy marriage. For some reason I feel guilty about this. so here goes...My husband is my best friend. He is uniquely special and makes me feel like I am the most beautiful and important person in his life. Trust me I know now how rare that is. I learned that I need to say that more often and not hide it to make other people feel comfortable."

After reading this several times - I realized that its true... we brag about the awesome pair of shoes we got, or the fabulous hair cut and color, we share about the great deal we just got or how delicious that food was... but why don't we say anything about our happy marriage?  Why is that the world's best kept secret?  I do have to agree with Ligia, I don't share this too often but I have also learned to say it more.  Not that my husband is perfect or we have a perfect marriage - but my husband is a prayer that was answered many many years ago - God knew exactly who I need as my husband and He bought Ray to my life.

Maybe you are going through some bumps in the road... or facing some issues... How can you make your marriage happier, more fulfilling?

John Piper, a preacher and author, took a leave of absence for eight months of year (May–December), he was free from all his pastoral duties and upon his return he posted a report on his leave of absence. In this report he shared about his marriage to his wife Noel... and he listed several points that have helped his marriage and which I have prayed upon and meditated on in regards to my own marriage:  "The upshot for our marriage of this sanctifying work has been:"

1. less withdrawal, more engagement,
2. less moodiness and sullenness, more hope-filled emotions,
3. less brooding over past disappointments, more dreaming from God’s promises,
4. less of a critical spirit, more verbal affirmation,
5. more tenderness, kindness, and touch,
6. more intentional time together,
7. more patience with (genetic?) personality traits without assuming sin,
8. more of a spirit of forgiveness,
9. more gratitude and less taking for granted,
10. more courage to name sins (our own and each other’s) without sounding hopeless or condemning,
11. a fresh sense of God’s gracious fatherhood over us, who, when he disapproves, does not hold us in contempt—and our learning to do this for each other.

He writes:  Relationally, perhaps the most crucial text has been Ephesians 4:31–5:2.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

In working on these different areas - we not only improve our relationship with our husband... but we also share a very important lesson with our children... Our children learn in seeing us live the life... its easy to talk the talk... but what do they really see when they look at us? Do they see us live the life we so often talk about? What are they learning about depending on God, about loving another person, ... about depending on God with things get tough...

I love my husband... he is an answered prayer... a gift from God...  Thank you Jesus!!!!

Wonder Woman

So for the past several days I've had some sort of bug...  my stomach was all upset, my head and body hurt.  And honestly I was a bit cranky, couldn't go to work and spent most of the day on my sofa under the covers... which meant that not much got down around the house.

Some may call this selective memory - but...
thinking back to when I was young... I don't remember my mom being sick.  Hmmmm well let me re-phrase that... I don't remember seeing my mom sick.  I am sure she is not some sort of alien that is immune to everything and anything... but as I try hard to think of a time that I saw her dragging herself or not being able to function, I can't remember a day.  The most I remember hearing her complain about was her allergies.  She used to suffer from bad allergies - but she kept going.  And if she was sick, none of us knew it.

The house was always cleaned, clothes washed, dried and pressed, the beds were always made, snacks ready when we got home from school and dinner made.

I sit here and as I think back to all of what my mom did - I am in awe... its funny how when we are young we don't "see" it or appreciate it.  I know I am one that came to appreciate my mom not too long ago. You are thankful and stuff - but its different, its that deep sense of appreciation.  Hard to explain I guess.   You think that moms are just supposed to do certain things or that it comes natural to them - like patience... but now that my daughter is growing up and giving me the looks and the comments and being a "pre-teen" - in between loving me - I think back at my mom and wow - she was an incredible woman... a Wonder Woman who loved us and did everything in her power to make sure we were always well taken care of.  My mom with her level of education - was the Guardian of her Home (had to borrow that Marlene), a babysitter, teacher, a psychologist, nutritionist, a friend, visited those who were sick or the family members of those who had passed away, a personal shopper, a cook, a baker, a party planner, a photographer, etc., etc... and the list goes on.

And in the midst of all that - I never remember "seeing" her sick... but always thinking of others before herself. Thanks mom for all you did for me and others.  I love you...

Given in Love...

I am sure that if you have kids you have been faced with this dilemma: what to do with your kids clothes once they have outgrown them...

Some options are: you can drop them off at the Salvation Army... or some other organization. You can hold on to it for a yard sale. You can give it away to someone...

I don't know about you, but there have been several instances where I look forward to passing along clothing, shoes, items that my children have grown out or no longer use - some appreciate it... but other times I've gotten funny looks or comments which have left me feeling bad. Its not like I'm passing along rags or clothes that are stained or smelly or torn...

I have never really understood why someone would be bothered or offended by this gesture. These are people who you know, not a total stranger but I know there are people out there that for personal reasons just don't like using other people things and that is okay all you need to say is "no thank you"...

I am one that I don't mind hand me downs for my kids (or even myself for that matter)... For the past several days though this has been on my heart. I have been beyond blessed and my kids have been doubly blessed by people who think of them with such love. Thank you to my sister Marlene, and my sisters in Christ - Kim, Damaris and Maria. Many times they have emailed me or texted me letting me know I have something for your kids...  Wow!!!


You see, I don't think its so much the material things that are appreciated but the thought... That someone, during their busy day thought about my children with love. My mom always said that "whoever loves my daughters has won over my heart."

It is also just the unexpected show of love at the right time. Its like they knew what I was thinking... and maybe not for me but for a need I know someone has that I can pass these thing on to this person.

Our Lord does work in beautiful and incredible ways... and sometimes He uses very special people to reveal what He has shared with us in His Word...

Matthew 6:25-34 - Do Not Be Anxious
25"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'32For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

RIP Diana Joseph

Many many years ago I was a single mom.  It was hard... and painful.  You make the best, put on a happy face - especially during those days when you just feel like giving up.  I was very blessed that I had a very very supportive family who helped me tremendously with my son.  He was a tough one, strong willed, but loving... a true little boy!!!  

I remember I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior - that decision totally changed my life.  And it was life changing.  My son at the time would turning five soon and would be getting ready to start school.  I wanted the best for him, and a place where he would be loved and taught the Word of God.  That place was Manhattan Bible Academy in the city. I researched it, prayed about it and enrolled him - praying each month that I would be able to make the payments.

It was a wonderful school with wonderful teachers... one of those teachers was Diana Joseph.  She was kinda sort of a big woman - and she loved to give hugs... I can remember her hugging Ben and him disappearing into her arms. She was a loving teacher, but a tough one, she didn't play games.  But she loved the kids.  I remember how she would pray with me often, encourage me and always sharing scripture with me.  

I know its a joyful time... because I know she is with the Lord... but my heart hurts because she was a very special woman and teacher and I can vividly see her smiling at me and telling me it was going to be okay.  And you know - it was okay...  

You will be missed....

Skinny Legs & Pretty Feet

Oh I am soooo sad!!!  Today I finally got a wonderful and beautiful pair of boots....  I've been wanting something like this for quiet some time.  I had even gotten the outfit to go with it!!!!

Yay!!!!  I was sooo excited.... I put my foot in and they felt wonderful, sooo soft and comfortable.

But here came the problem...  pulling up the zipper.

You see I have inherited the "big calves" gene from my dad!!!  Not like my sisters who have "normal" size calves... mine are jumbo!!!

Oh my goodness - I could not get the zipper up.  And the funny part is - that there is no possible way to suck in your calves.  Not like jeans...  where you jump around, twist and turn and get that zipper up.  Yeah so you're a little light headed for a few seconds... but after moving around and doing some stretches...  the blood starts flowing again.  And now with these wonderful fabrics its not so bad.

But the boots!!!! This shouldn't surprise me - boots have always been a problem, if not for my big calves it was not being able to get my foot in the boot!!!!  ahhhhhh

Its always been one of my dilemmas.  The other dilemma I also have - is what I have come to loving accept as my - "Fred Flinstone" feet.  They are wide with little toes. Again not like my sisters who would wear their strappy sandals and get cute pedicures!!!  It was bad growing up.  I was always ashamed of my feet.  During Spring and Summer while everyone was showing off their pedicures - I was walking around in shoes or my  sneakers, at the beach I would dig my feet into the sand and I remember when I went to visit my sister's house and they had a "no shoes in the house" policy (goodness how I dreaded that) I would ask for socks lol (this still cracks me up)... but through the years I have learned to accept my toes and have eventually started to wear flip flops and sandals and even pedicures - this was such a liberating experience... my oh my what I had been missing out on for sooo many years!!!!

But now back to the calves - ughhhh - I was just thinking of what alternatives were out there...  maybe black duct tape...  but how would I then remove the boots???  I guess they are going back.

Hmmmm, I guess I'll just have to find some wonderful shoes for my new outfit!!!  All is not lost!!!

Life but a vapor...

Yesterday there was a shooting in Arizona... I first heard about it through facebook and saw several postings - I turned on the tv and heard that Rep. Gabrielle Gibbons was shot, six were killed and others wounded. 

I suppose this shooting isn't any different from shootings that happen every day, all around the world... where people are injured or die. But yesterday when I heard about this shooting the word midst from James 4:14 came to mind ("yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."). These people were at a supermarket, maybe listening to the Representative, going shopping or standing around. In a blink of an eye - life changes. The Representative got shot in the head and is in serious condition. Her life will never be the same... There was a nine year old girl who was just elected to the student council in her school who was shot and killed, whose family will never be the same. 

We are a people who think we are invincible. We don't tend to think about death or our own death. But in reality our life is like a vapor... We truly don't know what is going to happen in an hour, or two, or when we go off to bed. There are no guarantees that we see tomorrow. Yes, this can be a frightening thought because its a topic no one likes to speak about or deal with... If we have true faith in God we can face the uncertainty of tomorrow with peace, knowing that He is in control of our tomorrows.

We tend to think that we are in control of our own lives... and that we can control the outcomes of events we face without His help... but there is nothing furthest from the truth. Our lives here on this earth are short, it is temporary and we must remember this. We must prepare for what is to come when this life is over. We need to trust in God, and always remember that God, not man, is in control of our now and tomorrows... 

Who is in control of your tomorrows??

Picture Vanished Flame by Lowjacker

Crafting!!!

Oh my goodness!!!

Yesterday my sister Marlene, who is a fellow blogger, told me about a craft blog.  Its was pretty interesting I have to admit.  In this blog there was a page where she listed all of the crafting blogs that she enjoys.  Let me tell you my brain is still in shock craft overload. I am giddy with excitement!!!!  I knew there were hundreds and thousands of blogs out there...  but who would have imagined that many specifically for crafts!!!

I used to love doing cards, invitations, favors, etc...it was truly one of my passions.  Walking up and down the aisles of Michaels and A.C Moore and seeing all the papers, scissors, chocolate pop molds, etc..., but a couple of years ago I guess I hit a funk and pushed it aside to the point that it was dead.  I couldn't part with all my crafts stuff so I put all my supplies and stuff into a big storage box and that was that.

Well guess what!!!  I'm getting the crafting feeling!!!  Goodness after seeing all the wonderful new stuff to create... I'm getting super excited once again.  Last night I prepared a folder of my To Do list!!!  Can't wait to organize and it and start on a few projects. Even Elizabeth my daughter was excited (she's my side kick and it runs in her blood).  I couldn't wait to call my sister this morning and let her know what she did introducing me to this link.  Thanks again Marlene!!!  You'll be the first one I send a finished creation to.

Its funny how God does things.  My sister has truly been such an encouragement to me lately... with the blog, baking, and now with creating and crafting... I'm excited to see where God is going to take all this in 2011!!!

Wooo Hoooo!!!

School Days...

So its snowing today... ughhh.  I love the snow when its falling and its all beautiful, to go out and make our famous snowman or snow angels!!!  But ughhhh when it turns to slush or ice and people forget how to drive or park... and then all the shovling - ahhhhhh!!!!! Total chaos, it no longer fun

Well if would have just called my dad last night - I would have known to keep my kiddies home today.  Last night people were posting on Facebook that either schools were closed or had early dismissal.  I kept checking online to see if Wallington had any change.  But nope nothing.

Early this morning I checked one more time and even called the school and yep it was normal schedule. So of all days to be the good mom - I bundled up my kids and sent them off to school.  As I looked outside several minutes later there was all this snow, I went into a panic. I was at the school by 9:30 picking them up to bring them back home.

So here we are all nice and warm... watching Hi-5!!!.

As I sit here watching my kids dancing around and enjoying themselves, I then think back as to how much life has changed.  When I was younger - there was no such thing as a mental health day.  My mom would have sent us to school in a blizzard, or the middle of a hurricane.  There was no such thing as staying home for fun, or being picked up early unless there was a call from the school or an advisory on tv and even then I don't think she thought it was a big deal.

There were days thay maybe one of us would wake up not feeling well but if there was no fever.... mom would line us up for our daily famous medicinal cure - Scott's Emulsion.... white cod liver oil. My mom swore by this, this was the cure all.  And off to school we went.  I guess it was pretty cool at the end of the school year and we received our diploma for perfect attendance.

Hmmm... but is that perfect attendance that important???  I think not.  These are the memories we'll talk about several years from now.  So for now - dance on kids!!!  Its a snow day at our house!!!

The Wannabe News & Weatherman!!!

I love my dad - and when I think of him there are so many things that come to mind, my dad, my friend, the enforcer, the very very hard worker who always took care of us, provided for us - family was always first.  I don't believe we ever had a need. And he made sure our mom could stay home and take care of us. One thing my dad loves to do is also drink... which with his age has gotten worse but I guess that is for another posting.

But there is one other thing my dad also loves to do.

I don't know if this is something that happens when you start to get older... but my dad who just turned 78... must have wanted to be a news / weatherman growing up.  Since I can remember he has always enjoyed reading the newspapers (no one was allowed to touch the paper until he finished reading it) or sitting in front of the television watching the news (and of course all the entertainment news in Spanish and English - he needs to be well rounded)...

My dad has always took pride of being on top of what is going on.  Its was VERY interesting growing up and talking about something and he would always have his opinion on the subject - and yeah you could have yours also... but his would be the correct one. Many times even my teachers had no idea what they were talking about.  I don't think there was or is a topic my father isn't "knowledgeable" on.  Whether it be politics, religion, sports, or life... just to name a few.

But lately, little by little he has been concentrating more on the weather channel - or any and every channel that is showing the weather.   Yes he does enjoy watching movies... but nothing like that weather channel with the instrumental music playing in the background.  He totally loves that channel!!!  I think that one of his secret desires would be to have several monitors so he can see all the weather channels at the same time - and may be one for the news (just in case something happened - he would be aware of it).

I can call up my dad right now and bring up a topic and he will fill me in as to what has been happening blow by blow and I am sure that if I mention the snow we are supposed to be getting, he can tell me exactly where the snow is, what time it will be passing over NJ and how much it will snow we will get and where it will go from there.  It the oddest thing.

I guess all of us live out our dream in one way or another...  at one time or another.

Thanks dad for all the information you have shared with me throughout the years... especially the weather information happening around the world.

Cleaning...

This may be strange - but when I hear the word cleaning my mom comes to mind. Ughhhh!!!!

I love my mom, and she is an awesome woman - but oh my goodness this woman can not sit still for more than three minutes without finding something else to do, organize, clean, move, straighten up, etc. You know how some smells take you back to your childhood and sweet memories... well - the smell of Mr. Clean, Comet and Clorox take me back to Saturday mornings.

Saturday mornings wasn't a day where we could wake up late or stay in bed and watch Saturday morning cartoons. (Gosh I just got a whiff of Windex)

My mom would wake us up make us breakfast and all of a sudden you would hear the sound of running water - ughhhh. Time to sweep the floor - and not just sweep the floor, we had to make sure we were putting muscle into it, making sure we got it out of the crevices. Then came mopping and dusting and fixing the beds... helping out in the bathroom, the living room. She would even spray the windex on the paper towel, I guess she knew the perfect amount of sprays and paper towels needed to get that sparkling shine.

I think this is one of the reasons why she loves to visit my sister Marlene... Marlene doesn't mind or has gotten used to my mom's cleaning nuttiness - so my mom takes joy in going over and cleaning EVERYTHING from top to bottom over and over again. I on the other hand get uncomfortable... Not that my home is dirty - but I guess that in watching her go 100 miles in hour cleaning and organizing and moving stuff around, it makes me feel inadequate... maybe even like I might be letting her down. So I've prohibited her from cleaning and even that is uncomfortable because I feel I'm robbing her of her passion or joy or wanting to help me out.

Right now at home its only my mom and dad. But she still hasn't stopped. Last week I was joking with her about her cleaning obsession and I told her she had to take it easy because her shoulders hurt from time to time when she does too much. And it was funny and I guess a little sad listening to her response because I realized that she wasn't the same woman from back then, she was getting older. She said that her mind wants to climb up and scrub the walls and the windows and move furniture around and splash water all over the place - but her body isn't what it used to be and while her brain wants to get up and go, her body is moving a little slower and she doesn't have the strength to do what she wants to do.

I, unfortunately, did not inherit this gene. I am a hoarder and love clutter. Something that truly did not exist in my home. But I love it lol. I believe part of me is rebelling the whole cleaning I had to do. I instead prefer to hang out with the kids or my hubby and watch tv. As wonderful as that may be - I think I am talking talking talking and my kids are seeing something totally different. So its time to talk the talk and walk that walk. I can't expect something from my kids, if they don't see it in me. I'm being hypocritical and these are things I don't want to pass down or qualities I want to teach. So bring on the Mr. Clean, the Comet and the Clorox - its a new year. There is something beautiful and refreshing in having a clean home. Gotta go do the laundry now.

Something new to do...

Soooo.... for as long as I can remember - my mom has been taking pictures of us... of others.... of EVERYTHING... Well this is one thing she had definitely passed on to me and my sister Marlene. We have countless of photo albums which my mom holds on with her dear life - and I must have nagged her long enough that she was able to "release" one of my photo albums to me. Its incredible to sit and look though these pictures - and even recall the "moment". From birthday, to outings, to vacations, our temperamental moments, to our "modeling careers" lol.

But thanks to digital photography taking 200 to 300 pictures in one event is normal for me and my sister. We tend to get shutter trigger happy!!!

I love taking pictures... I love being able to capture that moment, that look, that time. To look through the viewfinder and snap the memory is saved.

And when I sit with the kids around the laptop to look at pictures - its indescribable to hear the oohhh and ahhhhs on how tiny they looked, or how funny, and "I can't believe you took that picture" and the giggles that come out of them. Or how they make fun on how we looked way back then...

So because of this passion my sister is "encouraging" me to join her in starting a year in pictures. 365 pictures. Now I know that this will not be a problem - but like my sister, the problem lies in the "one" picture... but it sounds like fun!!! Lets see how it goes. Starting tomorrow - join me on the adventure of my year in pictures!!!!

You don't take a photograph, you make it. - Ansel Adams

Photo Credit - Nymagirl

What do others see...

Last night we were watching Francis Chan at Passion 2011 - and today my husband shows up with some new Bibles... and after my last blog about the new bibles, I started thinking about life and walking with the Lord and some comments that Francis Chan had touched on...

Does my life make sense?

What is my life showing?

Do I get it?

How is my worship life… my prayer life…

Persecution…

Does the Word bring us joy…

Do we love our bible… and not just the book - but the words in each page...

We are so free to worship, to pray, to sing, to shout out our love for the Lord. There are so many people who leave church for any ridiculous reason… not liking the music, the people, the building, etc… when there are people giving their lives to share the gospel. Who would give anything to shout out praises to the Lord God without fear of dying...

Our society has become a bunch of consumers... it is no longer enough to read the Bible - now we need books to tell us how to read the bible, what to read in the Bible... how to pray, how to love God... where did all these How To books come to be - when was the Word no longer enough.

How I desire to be a part of a new generation – of people that are committed… I want my children to grow up different… to truly love God with all their heart, mind and soul... I desire to live life fully for Him, to continuously have Him as my first love.

When others see me, see my life - do they see Jesus?