Day 16 - International Women's Day

Today on International Women's Day I would like to encourage all women to become a woman of excellence!! 

What Is Excellence?
To excel means to surpass, transcend, exceed. Excellence is the state of possessing good qualities in an eminent or unusual.

The Amplified version suggests these synonyms for a woman of excellence:
"A woman of strength-worth, bravery, capability" (Ruth 3:11).
"A virtuous and worthy wife-earnest and strong in character" (Proverbs 12:4).
"A capable, intelligent and virtuous woman" (Proverbs 31:10).

We need to discern between the world's definition of excellence and the Bible's exhortation to excellence. Our society views excellence as success, position, possessions, celebrity, accomplishment, beauty. Man usually looks only at outward appearances. God, though, looks at our hearts. It is the inward qualities of strength and virtue that are important to the Lord. Paul wrote to the Philippians: "This I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ" (1:9‑10).

Knowing God Intimately
To pursue a life goal of approving the highest and best, we need to know God intimately for He is our source and model of excellence. In particular, understanding God's love, sovereignty, and provision encourages us to want to reflect His excellence.

God's love
We cannot lose or earn more of God's love. It is tempting to equate excellence with perfection. But we deceive ourselves when we think that if we try to be perfect, God will accept us. "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). God's love is unconditional. He waits only for us to believe in Him and His Word.

I want to become a woman of excellence not because I have to perform, but because I choose to please God, who loves me completely.

Becoming Excellent
Because God is committed to our eternal happiness and to meeting our deepest needs. He desires us to become like Christ. Our desire to excel delights Him, but we must let Him teach us that it is a lifelong process and that He is our only source of strength. Growth occurs when we maintain our walk with God, remembering Christian life is a process, rather than giving up in frustration because we can't meet perfect standards. To become means to come into existence, to undergo change or development. As we respond to His desire to be totally involved in our lives, we begin to become like Christ

Paul wrote, "I am confident of this: that the One who has begun his good work in you will go on developing it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6) To avoid discouragement and reliance on ourselves we must know that God has begun His work in us and will complete it. And how encouraging to know that God is patient! Oswald Chambers challenges us, "Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry.

You are His masterpiece...  keep your eyes focused on Him... God has a wonderful plan for your life!!

Days 14 and 15 - My husband

My Husband Ray!!!  You see when we started dating there were many people that didn't think we were going to last... hey there were times that I didn't know what was going on... but its going onto 13 years in April!!!

We were both single parents with young boys who had issues of their own and we were coming to terms with "dating" and such. But through all the ups and downs God had a greater plan. He surrounded us with people that saw beyond what we saw... who prayed with us and for us and encouraged and supported us through Jesus Christ.

After being a single mom for so many years and being the head of my own household I got married and it was a difficult transition. Now I had to submit to my husband. It wasn't easy - but we got through it. The adjustments with the boys was also a tough challenge... but we got through it. And yes the list could go on and on and the result was the same we got through it.

There are times when I may speak about my husband and my marriage as though it is PERFECT... but you see that is not the case. We are two sinful people that came together with each of our baggage and issues and problems and put them all under one roof. Now that is a tough mixture but in the midst of it all the main ingredient was Jesus Christ. Though we were not perfect and had all this stuff to deal with... God knew exactly what each of us needed - and He bought us together.

Even though I am married to a man who is not perfect - Raymond is perfect for me because he was given to me by God. And that is the main difference and that is why Psalm 37:4 is my heart verse... I wasn't out looking around in desperation - yes I wanted to get remarried, I wanted to have a husband, I wanted to have a family - but I was delighting myself in the Lord and claiming His promise - that He would give me the desire of my heart and in His perfect timing... He did.

In my heart I do have the perfect husband because He was the gift that God gave to me. Above all Raymond LOVES God... God is above everything... Raymond loves me despite all of my nuttiness, craziness, loudness, all my quirks, and the list is a long one - but he still loves me and one of the most important things to me as a mom is that he accepted and loved my son Ben as his own... he truly truly loved him and gave of himself (in his own way) to Ben even in the midst of heartbreaking moments, he did love him and never gave up on him - like I am sure many others would have.

I'm a daddy's girl...  You see my father is everything and more that I could ever have hoped to have in a parent, but is he the perfect husband, lover, partner? Not really - he has his baggage and the chances of my mother saying that he is, are dismal! LOL But yes, I've spent over four decades knowing, loving and respecting him and everything that I know, love and respect him for has unconsciously, formed the benchmark when I prayed for a husband. Despite my dad's and Ray's imperfections - they both believe in something Greater, hard workers, responsible, providers...  

Our relationship, our marriage is not about us - its about Jesus Christ - and keeping our eyes focused on Him because He is the only one that can give us the strength and wisdom to go on when everything becomes too much.

Thank you my husband for loving me... for making God the center of our home, for taking care of me and our family... for encouraging me and supporting me to go outside of my comfort zone and for encouraging all my GREAT and not so great ideas.  You are a gift from God and I am sooo grateful for you.  Thank you for being obedient to Him.  I am a blessed woman.

Day 13 - Thankful

Elder John Occhiogrosso message really truly struck a chord in my heart.

There was one thing he mentioned that wow was hard to swallow...  because we never stop to think about it.  Yes we are to bear one another's burdens - but we need to make sure that we are not the burden or the source of any burden - can it be possible... that maybe I get so caught up in myself that I become a burden or a source of it.  It has just made me stop and think and truly pray about it - I just can't imagine adding "stuff" to someone's life, that my "stuff" may possibly be a road block to something that God may be trying to do.  AHHHHHHH

But God is so very very good - because in meditating and praying about this and in my "concern" and new "worry" the Lord hit me over the head and first He gave me peace about it and secondly He stirred up blessings in my heart.  He reminded me of people who He has placed in my life who have been a tremendous blessing to me with my own burdens... those "agents" that God used - even when I was being prideful and saying no I really don't need it (when in my heart I was thinking if I could only get out of the way and accept this blessing) praise God that she didn't give up either and said here. Or whether it was listening, praying, encouraging,  a shoulder, a card - just something that God used through a life to say I am here, you are not alone - I've got this...

Yes I for one get caught up in my "burdens" and weighted down... but I am so thankful that God speaks to the hearts of men, who share these messages with us and remind us of certain truths and that even in the midst of those burdens I have to remember how blessed I am.

Today I have been able to just thank God for those lives that in some way, shape or form eased a burdened in my life.

Yes God... use me...

Day 12 - Burdens

With our Pastor being away, Elder John Occhiogrosso bought us the message yesterday. It was based on Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

This message really hit home for me... He started off by stating the basic... We need to look up, we need to look in and in doing this it should then result in us looking out. We need to focus on our relationship with Jesus Christ, in doing that we should apply His Word to our lives which should then result in us reaching out to others and sharing His love. One way we can do this is by bearing each others burdens...

Elder John gave some examples of this in John 13:34, Romans 13:8, Romans 13:10 and Galatians 5:14 - which to sum up these verses speak about us loving others... as He loves us we are to love one another. And in loving one another - one thing we need to be doing is bearing each other's burdens.The law of Christ is the law of love, which fulfills all the rest of God’s law. When we love Christ, we submit to Him and tend His sheep (care)

Even though I for one have been burdened with many things - I decided to look up what it meant. 

The dictionary offers several definitions: something that is carried - load, duty/responsibility, something oppressive or worrisome, the bearing of a load/capacity for carrying cargo.

Okay so I am going to assume that this means a responsibility, something oppressive or worrisome. Now who doesn't have burdens? It would be hard to think that everyone is just walking around not worrying about anything. There are PLENTY of things to worry about... health, work, children, finances, home, marriage, relationships and the list can go on and on. We we find ourselves so weighted down that it requires us to be humble and transparent in admitting our lack of self sufficiency and our dependence upon Christ and each other. 

So we all have them - now the important part is what we do with our own burdens and that of others. Elder John gave three points regarding Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ:

Since he is a math teacher many times he will give us examples that are geared towards math. He stated that in some math equations there is always a given which is his first point - A Given: You can't bear one another's burden - if you are the burden or the source of the burden. Ouch. That was a painful one. No one wants to think of themselves as being a burden or even a source of a burden, especially to those they love.  But its a reality... it is easy to be the burden or the source of it - but doing so we are then standing in the way of what God is trying to do.

He used Proverbs 6:16 which states "There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers." The one that he focused on was: and one who sows discord among brothers. This is not just pertaining to brothers in the church but also in the home. Are we doing what we can do bear the burden and not be the burden? Are there any burdens we are contributing to?

2. Desire to bear a burden.  Huh - what are you talking about?  Are you serious?  I have enough burdens of my own and now I should desire to bear one??  We can't control which burdens we bear. God determines these things... but we should strive to be in a position to do so if God honors us with that.  Wow this one struck me also... it is an honor to be used by God - and we should not think about bearing a burden as the world defines it - but remembering that God Himself, is the believer’s ultimate source of strength, and on Him we are called to cast our burdens (Ps 55:22) and our cares (I Peter 5:7), but He often uses fellow believers as His agents to help carry the burdens of His children.

An example of this is: 2 Corinthians 7:5-7, “For indeed, when we came to Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were troubled on every side. Outside were conflicts, inside were fears. Nevertheless God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming, but also by the consolation with which he was comforted in you, when he told us of your earnest desire, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more.”  

Praise God if the way we live our life, in how we handle our burdens, blesses others with their own burdens... I guess that in a nutshell = actions speak louder than words.  Philippians 1:12 - "I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel,"  Who knows how our life, our testimony is speaking to another.

3. Lastly... We have to share the burdens. We need to communicate each other any burden that we might be experiencing...  Remember:  James 5:16 It is not spirituality but pride that makes a person want to “go it alone.” We are to be God's hands and feet.  God may want to bless through someone.

We need to examine our lives...  am I being a burden to someone?  How am I helping someone with their burdens?  How are we encouraging those around us?  Going back to the beginning - we need to be looking up, and we need to be looking in and we need to be reaching out...  there should be no hesitating...  we need to be doing these things so we can love others as we have been called to do.

Day 11 - Bringing out the Goodies!!!

Wow I had the time of my life last night!!!  With all the stress and work that is involved I LOVE PLANNING PARTIES!! AHHHHHH!!!!!  For years I was doing birthdays, Sweet 16's, weddings, favors, decor, invites... whatever - just as long as I was creating something... anything.  The joy of looking for the right paper, the perfect font, the ribbon, colors, favors, chocolate and the list can go on and on... then all of a sudden the business started slowing down... people started to figure out that they could do this on their own.

So little by little I put all my supplies away and just saved it for "that day"...

Well the "Day" has come!!!!  Woooo Hooooo.....  I'm taking my BIG BOX out of storage and dusting it off cause my my beautiful spiritual daughter is getting married!!!  The funny part is how I shared with her and her sister Elizabeth a couple of years ago - how I was saving these things for when they got married - how one day I was going to plan their whole wedding.  She can actually pass for my own daughter when it comes to collecting and saving and crafting stuff down to the little details - which is pretty scary lol.  But that is what makes helping her so much more special and beautiful.  My assistant is now the bride!!!

It was such a blessing to see this wedding coming together after so many many years of praying, daydreaming, talking about it...

Last night I went over to help her mom and sister with some Bridal Shower preparation and then when she got home it turned out into Wedding decor and before we knew it - it was 11pm and we were on a roll laughing and screaming with delight at all the ideas.

My dearest Alina...  its hard to believe that the little girl I once knew, who would sit next to me at church and we would write out the Pastor's sermon or follow me around as my "assistant" for anything and everything, who had countless ideas and suggestions is no longer a little girl, but a beautiful young woman who is getting ready to begin a new stage of her life.  I am already so proud and excited of the wonderful wife she is going to be...  What an awesome praise this is!!!

Day 10 - A lesson in communication

So as I move on in this Grieving Process (which - Praise God - is getting easier)... I realize that in order to expect something from our children - they have to see us do it and they have to be taught. As I prayed and meditated on His Word... He once again gave me comfort in what I've been dealing with.  I realized that in order for me to have a real relationship with my Lord I need to spend time with Him reading and speaking to Him... basically it all came down to communication and then I thought about my children and how they are communicating with those they love.

How was communication taught to you?  Teaching communication skills to our children is more important now than it has ever been. I realized that growing up I was usually expected to call family members but never really taught the importance of why... I had to.  And yes I am at fault as a parent. I remember telling my oldest son when he was young - call your grandmother... but it was more of a call and check in because you have to... I never really explained to him why he should call his grandparents or how to have a conversation with them or how it would make them feel - but that he had to call.  I hope this makes sense. Some may not quite understand... But I pray God speaks to your heart as He has to me.

Many of us assume that if all is okay, there is no real reason to call or send a note... because everything is okay. If we do call - we rush the conversation because we are really just "checking" in. Children are being raised in a society full of technology where its easy to "hide" behind a text message, email or other type of message. Its easier to send a couple of messages... and that's it... but then what about learning to speak, to listen to the other person, especially when that person is much older. Being concerned and sharing their heart...caring.  We should not teach our children that it is okay to use these other means of communication... but the importance of a phone call or sitting down and writing a note, how to communicate politely.

Assuming that children will learn proper communication skills without teaching them is a big mistake. I for one do not want this skill lost.  I know that sometimes the desire is there but we get caught up in our everyday tasks and lists of things to do... and before we know it, its already bedtime.  Maybe its something that should be put on our to do list, on our calendar until it becomes a habit - no longer something that needs to be done, but that they look forward in doing.

Continuing on the importance of communication, I wanted to share this that I found sooo very very interesting.  Emily Post's Etiquette, Peggy Post lists six basics of communication that parents should teach to their kids.

First, she advises, make eye contact. It is important that children be taught to establish eye contact with the person with whom they are speaking. Looking directly at the other person in the conversation shows interest and gives respect. Children need to be taught that looking away is a sign of disinterest and is not good manners.

Second, speak clearly and correctly. Using good pronunciation, not rushing speech and using good grammar are all aspects of communication that parents should model for children.

Third, take turns and don't interrupt. Children must be trained not to jump into a conversation just because they feel like talking. It is important that parents curb this behavior and teach children self-control.

Fourth, pay attention and respond appropriately. Modeling good listening skills to children is the best way to teach good listening. Ask appropriate questions of the child and allow the child to respond. Show interest in what the child has to say. The best conversationalists are those who listen well.

Fifth, enter conversations politely. There is a correct way to join a conversation that uses good manners. If parents consistently demonstrate how to politely enter a conversation, overtime, children will learn the practice. Parents should show children how to approach the group quietly, smile to those in conversation, listen to what people are saying, and wait until they are spoken to before speaking. It is also important for parents to teach children how to behave politely when someone joins an active conversation.

Finally, Post notes that one should end conversations pleasantly. Walking away from a conversation with good manners is a crucial skill to possess and one that parents should work hard at teaching to their children. Parents should encourage children to leave a conversation saying some pleasantry such as, "I promised my cousin that I would throw the ball with him and so I need to go now, but it was really nice talking to you." Other important skills that parents should focus on when teaching children basic communicational skills are controlling volume, not using "potty talk" and keeping private matters private.

Parents should also help children to understand nonverbal communication and cues. Rude facial expressions like eye rolling and grimaces as well as yawning at a speaker, hair twisting, turning one's back to the speaker, finger nail picking and checking one's watch, are all bad manners. Children need to learn that their nonverbal actions and behaviors can make people feel badly.

I guess its alot to take in - but we need to start... 

The Sense of Smell

I have this spunkalicious five year old... we call her our princess peanut.  She is my youngest little one... a total surprise and gift from God.  I guess He may have saved the "best" for last because Miss Priscilla is a very very interesting individual with a personality and way of being that poor dad is going to loose the few hairs he has left.

She is cuddly and tough.  Has a super duper high pitched scream.  Is super duper girly but won't back down from beating her older brother up.  And she wins you over with her awesome smile that shows off her one dimple.

Lately my little one has a thing with smelling me.  I just crack up typing this up.

She runs up to me to give me a hug, but its really to smell me.  Or she'll want to give me a kiss and then sneak in a smell.

I haven't been feeling well so I was lying on the couch and she was cuddling up to me... all of a sudden she starts creeping her way up... little by little... til she reaches my arm... and then all of a sudden I can hear her take a deep breath... then she creeps up some more until she is nuzzled by my neck and I can hear her breathing... then she sighs and she states in such a tender voice... "Mommy I love how you smell...  its soooo good".  She loves my perfumes and is always asking me to put some on her... so I got her a very special fragrance called Violetas... it smells delicious.  But this is a new thing!!!

Oh how I wish I could just bottle up that love and pour it on each and every single day.  As she kept taking a whiff of me I closed my eyes and saved this moment in my heart so when she gets older, one day I can share this memory with her.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with her how I cried... I had three kids already... I wasn't a Spring Chick and I had been getting ready to have my tubes tied and the doctor told me that it wouldn't be possible because I was pregnant!.  I waited days to tell my husband...  how could this be...  I remember when I shared the news with a sister in Christ, Olga... - I was in tears and she was cracking up at me!!!

Now as my daughter smells me - I realized that God knows exactly what we need and when we need it.  There are no accidents and no mistakes with our Lord and Savior...

She is so beautiful and so perfectly made!!!  So now its my turn to go and cuddle up with her and smell her from her toes to her hair...

And I know that one day when I happen to catch a whiff her of perfume... it'll remind me of this night.

Yep - Another Email!!!

So here is another devotional I got and just finished reading... Its from Women of Faith, titled Pruning by Patsy Clairmont.  Wow...  I guess He wanted to make Himself a tad more clearer just in case I missed the message.

Some years ago my husband bought a super duper riding lawn mower. Les could hardly wait to try out his new toy, excuse me, his new equipment. He even bought a spiffy hat for his maiden voyage, so Les was looking good. He revved up the powerful motor, careened out the garage door, onto the grass, where he lowered the mower, shifted into high gear, and proceeded to barrel right through my flower bed.

That was not what Les meant to do. That was not what I wanted him to do. By the time Les lifted the mower and made his way out of the flowers my hydrangea bush looked like a handful of pickup sticks, my roses were potpourri, and my butterfly bush was not fit for a gnat. This was not purposeful pruning at its best.

Even so would you believe the following year those bushes came back with gusto. They were full of gorgeous blossoms. And the year after that they were show stoppers. Folks were actually stopping to take pictures of them.

It’s really a reminder that what others do accidentally or spitefully can be used to cause us to flourish. Doesn’t that remind you of Joseph from Genesis? If you remember his life looked like nothing but hardship and injustice. From sibling jealousy, to female revenge, to ingratitude, Joseph’s story looked like he had been mowed down and discarded. But God used it all as pruning to cause Joseph to grow into a wise leader.

None of us would volunteer for family rejection, slavery, imprisonment, or injustice. When Joseph was young and still full of innocent dreams he never imagined as the favored child of his father he would live such a rootless existence. But God grafted him into the Egyptian world for holy purposes of position and provision. Joseph after being cut down like a sapling grew to become an oak of righteousness. His management of the fruit of the fields flourished the people through a world famine.

We can observe growth in a petrie dish, a preschool, and a seniors vocational center. We were born to grow until our fruit falls to earth for the last time and we blossom into eternal life.

Day 9 - God Speaks

Its interesting how God has been making himself every so clear the more I continue to submit to Him through Scripture, friends and now my emails lol!!! He sure doesn't miss a beat.  

Today this is the devotional I received.  Its titled: God, I'm a little mad and alot confused - by Lysa TerKeurst.  Its incredible but yeah that is how I've been feeling and once again its confirmation of what I need to make sure I am constantly doing...  Thank you Jesus for making yourself ever present!!  I pray you are blessed just as I was!!!

Kick your shoes off and get ready to get gut honest. When God doesn’t seem to be answering our prayers it can be hard. Sometimes, down right awful. One minute I’m determined to trust God.

In the next, I feel myself slipping. The “why” questions tumble in so hard. My heart hurts. My eyes leak. And in those raw moments I just feel a little mad and a lot confused. Ever been there?

I don’t want to oversimplify what to do in these times. I know from the prayer requests you’ve been leaving in the comments this week, many of you are facing really tough issues. Situations where the answers aren’t easy or clear cut.

But I have discovered a few things that help me when God seems silent…

* Press in to God when you want to pull away. When I really want to hear from God but He seems silent, I sometimes find I want to disengage from my normal spiritual activities. Skip church. Put my Bible on my shelf. And let more and more time lapse between prayers.

But the Bible says we will find God if we seek Him with all our heart. Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” All my heart includes the parts that are broken. Bring it all to God.

He can handle your honesty and will respond. But we have to position ourselves to go where truth is. Go to church. Listen to praise music. Read verses. Memorize verses. And keep talking to God.

* Praise God out loud when you want to get lost in complaints. In the midst of what you’re facing, find simple things for which to praise God. I don’t mean thank Him for the hard stuff. I mean thank Him for the other simple, good things still in the midst. A child’s laugh. A bush that blooms. The warmth of a blanket. The gift of this breath and then the next.

Psalm 40:3 reminds me God will give me a new song when I make praise the habit of my heart and mouth. “He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD.”

* Put yourself in the company of truth. That friend that speaks truth? Listen to her. Stay connected to her. Let her speak truth into your life even when you’re tired of hearing it. Stand in the shadow of her faith when you feel your own faith is weak. Let her lead you back to God time and time again.

Proverbs 12:26, “One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor…”

It’s okay to feel a little mad and a lot confused. Our God is big enough to handle our honest feelings. But don’t let your feelings lead you away from God or away from His truth. Press into Him. Praise Him. And put yourself in the company of truth.

As you stay with God in these ways, you will become ready to receive His answer when it comes.