Seven Days...

Its been a week... 
60,4800 seconds or
10,080 minutes or
168 hours or 
in other words seven days.



Seven days ago, a beautiful Friday afternoon I received a call from my friend, Kathy, letting me know that she received a call from the hospital because our friend, Lucille, needed her family and friends at the hospital, she told me that there were several police cars outside of our friend's home... Kathy asked if I was on my way over to pick up my daughter who gets a ride from her... I was just surprised because why would there be police cars outside Lucille's house and why was the hospital calling for family and friends... I told Kathy I was on my way and she told me she had another call coming in...

It was the hospital again - calling from the pediatric department asking for family and friends to come to the hospital. I told Kathy that I would be right over... she asked if Elizabeth could stay with her kids so she could leave right away... and I told her that wouldn't be a problem...

When I get to Kathy's street there were three police cars parked in front of Lucille's home... it was just so odd... I'm thinking Lucille's son who was 15 months old probably got hurt, like broke an arm or leg or got a bad bruise from a tumble... so why were there police cars...

When I arrived at Kathy's house at 4:24 pm all I could do was pace the house... back and forth... when was Kathy going to call to let me know what happened... My last text to her was at 4:54 pm saying "Anything" - but when I didn't hear from her I figured it was bad reception...

At 5:06 pm I got a text from Kathy saying "AJ is with Jesus, he didn't wake up from a nap... pray!" It didn't make sense... what was this saying... I closed the message and opened it up again to make sure it was real and I read it right... I called Kathy because I needed to hear the words from her mouth... and when I did finally reach her and she did confirm the news - my heart fell like a rock... such an immense pain... and the tears began to flow... 

AJ - Anthony James was the cutest little boy... with this awesome reddish hair... and he had just started walking... it was the cutest thing... now he was gone... 

Now all I could do was begin calling our prayer warriors... this family needed prayers, hardcore prayers... and each time I told someone it was the same reaction, the pain coming through the phone...

I know we are not eternal beings... I know we all have to pass away... and its hard when you hear that someone has died - but a child... how does one take that in... a beautiful innocent child.

So much as happened in these seven days... I have seen first hand how God gives strength to those that trust in Him... I was able to see how His words gave comfort and peace... I was able to see how when I was weak, He gave me strength to put my feelings aside and hold Lucille while she was crying and upset... I was able to see how Kathy ministered to her and the family day and night.

Oh but in the midst of all of this, in the midst of her tears and pain - she would share God's word, she would ask for her sisters in Christ, she would talk about her church and the joy it bought her, she would speak about Jesus and how she is getting baptized in November. She was witnessing and ministering to all those around her.

A new chapter begins for my friend Lucille... one I can't understand... but one she has to go through... its going to be a difficult journey, moments when she will break down, be angry, hurt, cry... but deep in her heart she will have one extraordinary thing... Hope... You see this journey she will not take alone... she will take each step with her Lord and Savior and nothing will be too big for Him... and He will continue to give her Hope - that one day she will be reunited with her son again...

I don't know how one can survive this pain or how one can stand when receiving news like this - but I do know that when you know Jesus - He gives you that strength, that peace and that love - those that see you might think you are nuts - but its all Jesus Christ.

Its been a difficult seven days - but I have say how blessed and honored I am to have been able to share these moments with Lucille because in ministering to her - there are so many lessons learned... so many lessons... to praise God for.

Seven days ago - the lives of so many were changed - including mine...

may you be blessed.

A hug that soothed my soul...

In this world there are huggers and then there are "huggers"...

I think I'm a hugger... I love to give hugs and to receive them. It wasn't always this way - I tended to shy away from hugs - unless my father was giving the hugs... there was no way to shy away from those...they tended to be massive...lol

I have a friend - Rebekah and oh goodness gracious that woman was born to hug... she is a "hugger" no Rebekah is a "HUGGER"... you can fall into her arms and whatever you are going through feels so much better after her hug... she could hug you when you are happy and its a jiggly hug... or you can hug her when you are sad and its all good and soothed.

I don't know why but I have this odd relationship with my mom... I know one day the "why" will be answered but I know without a doubt that she loves me in her own special way... just like I love her in my own special way... yes we are two special women!!! But our hugs have consisted of those hello type of hugs and those quick pecks on the cheek... we have never really been too physically affectionate towards each other. 

Through the years its taken some effort on my part not to continue that type of relationship with my daughter Elizabeth. Each day I have to make a conscious effort to show her love and affection... not just say it or assume that she knows but show her. To make sure that I hug her, hold her hand, verbally encourage her, verbally compliment her and of course give her those loud mushy kisses - to make sure I don't take those "things" for granted. I'm doing it now more than ever because I see how quickly time is passing by... and if I'm not careful that time may come where I may not be able to do it if you know what I mean... and my little girl isn't that little anymore... we almost see eye to eye which is pretty scary. 

But going back to hugging... today God knew what I needed. And it wasn't a hug from my darling husband Ray, or my friends Kathy who has been doing really good at hugging more, Jen who is very very pregnant and has to hug sideways or Rebekah the natural born "hugger"... He knew I needed my mom.

Today, me and the kids met up with her... Elizabeth was going to spend the weekend at the city, so instead of us driving to the city, she decided to meet us at the mall. When Elizabeth saw her - she ran towards her and jumped into her arms... Caleb and Priscilla ran right behind her... I thought they were going to knock her down.

And then my mom reached me... and it happened... it wasn't a hello hug... or one of those courtesy hugs... it was a hug. I truly do not remember the last time we hugged that way... we hugged and I felt like a little girl being held in my moms arms and protected from the world... and I kissed her teared up cheek... I was able to smell my mom's smell... I was able to feel her heart... and her love... and I knew it was a God thing because she didn't give me the mom speech about how I've been lost and how she forgot what I looked like... she just smiled at me and I kissed her again.

God is so good - He knew what I needed and what was going to soothe my soul and remind me of His love... if I could bottle up that moment - but maybe its a good thing if I can't bottle it up - I feel as if now I can go back for more... I've been praying so much for this moment and I see this as an answered prayer and a door being opened for wonderful things between me and my mom!!! Thank you Jesus - for always knowing what my heart needs...

How she longs for his cry...

I just finished cuddling with my baby girl... I needed to feel her close to me with her arms around my neck...

And then the tears just overwhelmed me...

To know that she is not mine... my precious children belong to the Lord and He has entrusted me with them for a given time - how long that time is - only He knows.

Oh how many times I say and think that I have to - that I need to spend more time with my children... that I need to stop yelling and shouting so much... that I need to hug and kiss more... and then I'm back to where I started.

I am sorry I keep sharing so much about my friend Lucille who lost her 16 month old baby yesterday... but sometimes God puts us in midst of certain situations to teach us things... oh and this lesson was so heartbreaking. 

How her heart must ache for her son... how her arms must hurt because she is not able to hold him one more time... how her ears wish for the sound of him calling out to her or even the sounds of his cries... and how we take it for granted and how we tend to complain when they are hanging us on to or screaming for something... and now how a mom now wishes she had that opportunity once again - how she would give anything to have her baby back.

My heart hurts so much right now... and my my heart cries out to Jesus as I ask Him to forgive me for those moments when I didn't love my children as much, or when I pushed them away or told them to stop... Oh my Jesus... make me sensitive to my children's moments... and a constant reminder that they are yours... and you may take them back at any time... help me to remember to cherish them because life goes to fast... and one day they will no longer be babies... make me an instrument that you can use to raise Godly men and Godly women who long to serve you and worship you... 

Jesus make me a mother after your own heart... one who imitates you... 

Just give me Jesus...

Oh what a day this has been... but in the midst of all of the pain my heart rejoices.

Many times I have heard Phillippians 4:7 - "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." and I know that God will do this... and He has... but then there are certain situations that make me ponder - will He.

And today as I sat with my friend Lucille - this was made so evident. In the midst of her pain and broken heart - I was able to see the peace of God which surpasses all understanding on her face. And this was only something that God could do.

My friend is a new believer... but the Lord has made Himself so real in her life and in her heart. Today she was sharing scripture and Bible stories... she was sharing how she has been praying to the Lord... and she she would break down and ask why in the midst of her tears... but then something would come over her - and that could only be the Spirit of the Lord.

Oh to know Jesus... there is no better thing. He is not a figurine that we light candles to... or a picture on a wall... he is not the image crucified on the cross... He is alive and He is ever present and real... ready to console us at all times in the midst of our pain.

There is nothing more beautiful in this world but to know Jesus as our Lord and Savior... to know that He knows each one of us by name... that we do not need words to speak because He knows our hearts... that our Father knows each tear that falls from our eyes...

Oh just give me Jesus... give me Jesus... you can all this world... but give me Jesus... 

xoxoxo

As my strength diminishes...

Oh how my heart aches.... 

Yesterday a friend of mine, Lucille lost her son... He was 16 months old. Oh he was the cutest thing with his beautiful red hair that just stood out.

Yesterday I went to the hospital to be with Lucille and with my friend Kathy (who is a good friend of mine but also Lucille's neighbor and her friend)... and my friend Shannon who is the Nursery Director of our church who was also there to comfort Lucille.

I don't know if I would say unfortunately or fortunately in this situation... Unfortunate that this happened - what does one do or say... how does one ease the pain... but then again fortunate to have the Lord, that He provides those words, that comfort, that love and that we could be His hands and feet and that He uses us to minister to others as He would have us...

It was a blessing to be able to be there for both of them. Even though I knew Anthony and loved him very much - I was not as close as Kathy was or even Shannon... so I was being strong and encouraging with her and holding her and praying for her... reminding her in the midst of the confusion and pain and the fog she was in that she was loved... that I loved her, that we loved her that God loved her... she would nod her head but I know that her feelings were just a ball of knots and confusion.

I came home last night and shared with my mother in law... and we prayed for her... when I arrived at my home I shared with my husband and then my daughter Elizabeth called me to her room and she was in tears thinking about Lucille and Anthony and also Kathy's children who are younger than her... as she asked what could she do... All I could do was comfort her and I prayed with her.

I was in the midst of my own fog and confusion... thinking I would wake up at any moment.... we went to bed and it was a restless sleep... my inner being just wanted to jump out and do something... to be there for Lucille, to be there for Kathy and for Shannon...

As I awoke this morning I realized this is real... and the pain started to make itself more evident...

I'm still being strong making some phone calls, praying and sharing...

I just texted a friend of mine so that she could pray for me... later on Ray and myself are going to pass by Kathy's house to pray with her and for her and her husband and then visit with Lucille...

In my text I wrote - pray for me because I feel my strength becoming weak...

And that is when the Lord reminded me that my strength can only be found in Him... and the verse 2 Corinthians 12:9 came to my heart: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

So in the midst of this pain... and as "my" strength slowly diminishes, I will let the power of Christ rest upon me... 

O Praise Him

Oh today has been a day of praises... Goodness from time we wake up to the time we go to sleep we have so many reasons to praise God.

These past couple of months have been tough. We have had to do alot of re-budgeting and switching things around... Today was pay day and before the funds even hit the bank - the money was all gone... and I was still short.

Time after time - I pray God - we are being obedient... we are being good stewards... why is this happening.. what is going on... I know what is going on... several months ago I tried to do something right but it backfired and threw us back... I guess its a double edge sword sort of thing... but goodness we just need a break to catch up.

Today was a busy day... had alot to do and take care of... as I got ready to attend a meeting for our Women's Ministry... the thoughts popped back in my head... oh what can I do... Hmmmm maybe play the lotto!!! But my husband reminds me time and time again - that we are to trust in God... Hmmmm okay what else... what can I do.... maybe a second job.... but then that would affect ministry and that is priority for me, for us... I jump in the car, put down the windows and turn up the music... I begin to sing worship songs and my spirit lifts (In case you haven't noticed from my other blogs... I LOVE music and I LOVE to sing!!!).

As I'm driving and singing... I can't help but praise God. I had to praise Him. Yep so our finances are very very tight, I'll have to move some stuff around again... but you know something... I HAVE to praise Him. The Lord has blessed me beyond what I can ask for... in abundance. You see I have to take the focus off what I cannot control. In as much as I would love to - I can't control our finances... our salaries are set, our bills and responsibilities are set and we have to make due with what we have... So worrying about it and losing sleep over it isn't going to make the money multiply you see... But what I can focus on are the incredible blessings He has given me. My family is healthy... we have a roof over our heads - in a home that the Lord has given to us that is full with His love... all of my children are doing well... I have a wonderful and incredible husband who loves us and loves the Lord... we each have good jobs... we have had times of abundance... and I can continue going. So while I was driving to my meeting - I chose to make my mindset. I can't let satan distract me from all of these tremendous blessings - because that is what he wants. And before we know it we will be wallowing in a pit of depression and misery.

Oh my friends... I know that times are hard for so many - I look around our church family and see families who have lost love ones, I see others who are very very ill, others without jobs, others without a home - so many many things happening in the lives of others... and I sit with them and talk to them - many of them praise God... thank God... they are joyful...

The Lord has a plan... He has provided for us to this date... there has not been a need... and I can only praise Him and thank Him. We need to change our words from complaining to praising - Oh where, where would I be without my wonderful Lord and Savior... He has given me all I will ever need - grace, mercy, love, and His blood that He shed for me, for us... which also means eternal life.

Today / Tonight - sing praises... sing loud... because He has given you so so much!!!

My theme song:

My Praying Princess Peanut

I don't consider myself to be a prayer warrior - even though I love to pray... I see some women from my church like Carol and Akos to name two - that when I hear them pray I know in my being that something is happening... I know that satan and his demons are running away... its like earth is trembling... I love to hear them pray... to hold hands with them and enter into His throne.

There is nothing more precious... than to be able to seek the Lord in prayer... to have a tender conversation with Him, to sit and share, to sit in silence while the tears fall, to fall on my face in awe and reverence, to sing praises to Him...

I sit here and type this... and my heart swells up...

That I can come before the Lord, the creator of heaven and earth... at any time, at any place and speak to Him... and He listens to me.

I remember when I first came to the Lord... and I was learning how to pray... the older women used to tell me that we do not need an operator to relay our prayers to God or to see if God was avaliable for us... they taught me that we have direct acess to Him... I remember when I heard that I was in awe... like are you serious... I don't have to pray to a statue - so that they can tell God was is going on!!! WOW... I couldn't believe it... I was so used to praying to pictures and statues... and now I could go to Him...

My youngest daughter Priscilla Grace... our princess peanut... oh she is a fireball... with one incredible spunky personality... what she lacks in size - she makes up vocally. Her voice is never drowned out by her older sister or brother... she fends for herself... and if things still don't work out or she isn't heard... she has this incredible high pitched scream that makes my bone marrow shake. And its been like this since my pregnancy with her... she was a total surprise - not planned - but God had His own plans... but that is for another day...

My princess peanut also has this incredible side to her... she is loving, tender, caring, and sweet... she loves her friends... but she loves Jesus even more... and one thing she loves to do is pray. Before we eat our meals, if someone is sick, for her daddy that works so hard, when she is scared... they are not long winded prayers... usually short and to the point... but they are initiated by her and that is the biggest blessing. She'll stop in her tracks and shouts out lets pray!!! Or she'll sit next to me and put her tiny hand in mine and she'll say lets pray...

But today I truly learned how much our kids pick up on things... like when we go to the Lord in prayer...

She entered first grade last week... and today she had three tests... math, spelling and reading... oh she was scared my tiny one... but we prayed last night and again this morning. But today when I dropped her off at school, I lifted her out of the car and gave her a hug and kiss and walked two steps and she just stopped right there and said lets pray... so what is a mom to do - I stopped and we held hands and we prayed.. Even Caleb joined in. She is my prayer warrior...

So as I saw her walk off to school holding hands with her brother Caleb - oh my darling precious princess peanut... I was just wondered what she was going to be for God... How He was going to use this vessel for His honor and glory..

And I sat there and prayed... and then pumped up the volume and praised Him some more!!!

Thank you Jesus for choosing me... to raise these children for your honor and glory...

He's Calling Me to the Starting Line...

So... yesterday our Pastor started a new series - "Fulfilling Our Ministry" and the first message was titled "A Call to the Starting Line". It was an incredible blessing to begin this new season with this message.

I have various "seasons" throughout the year... September at our home is the beginning of a new and busy "season". First, our children begin a new school year. This means starting over with new schedules and routines. Homework, studying, waking up early.

Secondly, my husband and I are very involved in our church - and in September - ministries start up again so the church begins to buzz with new blessings sprouting all over the place. This year will be especially interesting as we have "graduated" from Youth Ministry to Young Adult Ministries. This will be a new challenge, new adventures, new goals. I am also part of the Women's Ministries and this year I will be speaking several times. And plus whatever else the Lord throws our way - but its the beginning of a new season.

So when I was typing up the notes for our Sunday bulletin I was excited to hear the message and to begin this new season in our lives and in ministry and to see what God is going to have for us.

So you ask, what stood out from this message? What is so special about it? Well first I have to begin with three"levels" that Pastor began with:

1 - The Surival Level - I'm just trying to get through life - alot of us live this way... just get through the day, the week... or survive what we are dealing with.
2 - The Success Level—I'm going to do everything I can people / circumstances to benefit to make it.  Alot of people are like this - they don't care who they have to hurt or bump out of the way - because its all about them.  

I tend to relate more with the first one - but the level that was close to home and touched my heart was
3 - The Significance Level - to live life in a way that will bring honor to those who put you in the race and to make a difference in the lives of others around you as you run the race. The only way we can do this is if we stay on the course God has given us and to choose to run faithfully.  This bought everything into reality... back to the basics... it reminded me to those that invested so much into my life and taught me how to run in this race.

You see when I think about it my life, this race isn't about "surviving"... Its doing what I have been called to do and being faithful while doing it. But in order to do this one has to surrender. Ughhhh and that can be an ugly word because when we surrender it basically means to give up our own will... giving up control... yielding to God... and many people (me included) have a problem with that - but in doing so, the ultimate purpose is to be used by God. When we surrender to God , our life has a meaning - an impact. God has a purpose for us and for our life.

Okay, that is all great, but what is our life all about? What is at the center of my life? Who or what am I living for? We can center our lives around a number of different things... family, money, job, church, etc... But our lives are to be centered in Him, we are to live a life committed to Him, in a personal, intimate relationship with with God.

For us to have an intimate relationship with God - first we must know Him. Yeah that sounds easy enough right?? But to "know" someone means that we need to spend time, quality time getting to know that person. A passing hello and goodbye means nothing really - we'll never get to know someone unless we stop and take time to say more than just hello or goodbye.  Its the same with our relationship with God.  You see, its stopping to read, pray, listen... that we get to know Him. After we get to know someone, we begin to love them... in the same way, the more we know Him, the more we love Him... and then we are able to discover what love really is. (John 3:16)

When your fellowship with God is at the center of your life it will result in you keeping the right perspective of what life is all about - its all about Him.

As I am sharing - I begin to think about my own life / race... sometimes we tend to get comfortable... and complacent... sometimes we don't want to be in the race - because life can be exhausting, especially when we are living life on the survival level.  Being a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and the list can go on and on, with the everyday ins and outs of life - I ask, we can ask, what am I becoming?  What am I becoming when I am faced with life, with things that are pushing me against a wall, when tough times come... am I becoming self-centered, bitter, angry, critical, mean spirited?  But the Christian life (race) is not just about what we do, but its about who I become while in the race.

And this is where it gets a little crazy - in the midst of this life, race - when things get tough - Pastor reminded us that God not only wants us to know Him and to love Him, He wants us to be like Him. You say what??? He - the creator of heaven and earth wants us - me - to be like Him... and the answer is YEP!!! But what is it to be Christ-like? "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law."—Galatians 5:22-23

Yes, I know what you are thinking - its the same thing I was thinking... it looks good - hey maybe even GREAT reading it... but how can we live it out when things are tough and not going our way?  The answer lies that its not how "we" can live it out or how "we" can be more like Christ... the answer is that God will do this in us - when we surrender our lives to Him.  He will do this through our everyday life experiences as we run the race and we will discover that He IS enough, He is sufficient.

When our lives are off course and not God-centered, our tendency is to use these abilities, resources, and talents to serve our selfish interests and fleshly desires. God has designed our course so we can use our abilities, talents, and gifts in service to Him and others.

Here is the challenge: Do you want to live a life of significance?
If so, get in the race, the course He has for your life (to bring Him glory and to impact the lives of those around you).
It starts with Knowing Him.
To know Him is to LOVE HIM.
To love Him is to want to BE LIKE HIM.
To be like Him is TO SERVE.

Now is the time to get to the starting line. You are never more like Jesus than when you are giving of yourself.  So its time to switch gears... its a new season, a new day, a new opportunity to get back to the starting line!!!  And you want to know the awesome part!!??!!  We don't get to run / live this race alone... He will be there right besides us - so let's get going!!!  Wooo Hoooo

And I must share this song with you - we sang it at our Sunday service and I have not been able to stop singing it all day...  be blessed...

Freddy Rodriguez - I will Run

Got some braggin' to do!!!

I need to brag about my God - so I hope you don't mind - but I serve a Savior who is just beyond words... Woop woop with hands held high I am Praising my Lord and Savior!!! But I'm not going to break out into singing just yet - maybe after I finish here because its one of those moments!!!

This week my three darling children started school... but I have a beautiful young daughter, Elizabeth, who drives me batty - she is in her pre-teen years and she's my mini me - its strange to see myself in my daughter, and sometimes its not fun at all ughhh. Elizabeth is very special and I can already see many of the gifts that God has blessed her with and it brings me so much joy to see her using them and being able to bless others.

Well Elizabeth has had one very specific prayer request - she has been praying that this September she would finally be able to attend Hackensack Christian School. Oh my goodness - so many of her conversations revolved around this topic... when was she going, what was taking so long, why why why.

Elizabeth loves her Lord and Savior very much... and she is not shy about it either. If there was something going on at church she would invite her classmates and teachers. She would hand out flyers and invites... but it alot of times it wasn't received lovingly... which resulted in her not having friends and being bullied. Many days on our drive home from school, she would cry all the way home because she was so hurt and upset. There were no words of consolation or encouragement that I could give her which would help... I could only hug her and kiss her and assure her it would be okay...

After praying fervently this Summer, God assured us that we should sign her up for Hackensack Christian School. My heart jumped for joy while my brain was busy crunching numbers and my husband was like "okay where do I sign", and I'm like are you sure - his reply "yes".  I remember that several weeks ago I couldn't sleep... I was up at night asking God if this was the right decision "but God the numbers quite don't add up". I remember pleading with Him to please give me the assurance that I needed - and my friends He did!!! He spoke to my heart - and all He said was "send her".  By faith I submitted in all the papers and payments.

When I picked her up from school on her first day, I was so giddy with excitement hearing her share how happy was was about her day... she couldn't contain her joy!! Yesterday was another wonderful day in which she shared "every single little detail".  Today was when God spoke to me through her and where I was certain she was where she was supposed to be. 

First she shared how my sister in Christ - Sharon Leuci - (an assistant teacher at the school who helps me by taking her to school in the morning) prays with her when they get close to the school.  That bought joy to my heart to know someone was loving my daughter that much.  She shared about her teachers and how wonderful they were and how funny it was that they remembered her older brother Ben (yes he left "wonderful" memories at that school). And then she shared about her friends and how she couldn't believe she already had so many friends - who wanted to be with her. Elizabeth is almost as tall as I am, but when I heard her share these things, it was if I was holding her in my heart, the same way I did when she was born. It was just such a blessing to hear her share how blessed she was, but most importantly how she could see how God was working in her own life.

Yes the numbers still aren't crunching... we'll have to make some sacrifices... but I know that her Heavenly Father wants her in this school - which means that we will both do what we need to do to make sure she will stay there until God says otherwise. 

God is our Provider...Jehovah Jireh and He provides beyond our expectations... woooo hoooo pumping up the music because this calls for a worshipful celebration!!!

Do you know God? Do you want to know more about Jesus Christ? Shoot me an email and I'll share how wonderful and glorious He truly is!!! 

Bring It!

Here is an excerpt from Lysa's book Unglued...  I don't know which section I love the most... but this is definitely a top one!!!

Bring It!

Here are three statements I wrote about in my book, Unglued, that will help us bring it:

1. Feelings are indicators not dictators.
I'm not always going to have blissful, happy feelings. I'm just not. But while my feelings may indicate I have some things to address, they don't have to dictate a bad mood. It's time for me to be the boss of my feelings and determine to bring the joy I want my home to be filled with today.

2. Bad moments don't make bad mamas.
Have you ever caught yourself labeling the kind of mother you are in light of a few bad moments with your kids? "I'm not patient." "I lose it all the time." "I'm the most disorganized mother on the planet."

Me too.

But these labels won't help us bring more joy into our mornings—they'll just bog us down. Here's the reality ... just because I have an impatient moment doesn't mean I'm an impatient mother. We need to stop the self-condemning labels by matching each negative moment with a positive reality. Maybe I had an impatient moment when I helped with homework last night but this morning I'm bringing patience in the way I helped my daughter find something to wear.

Yes, I'm bringing it.

3. Find the joy treasure.
There will be a treasure hidden in the moments you experience this morning. Look for it.

Look for the way she tucks her curls behind her ears and ties the ribbon in her hair. Look for the way he fiddles with his hat trying to look cool. Take a snapshot this morning of this joy treasure. Don't miss it. When you find it, tuck it in your heart and let it sink deep. These are the moments that form that wellspring of joy and help us keep bringing it.

Peace, love, joy, patience, kindness—these are the things with which we want to fill our mornings. Despite the circumstances we face and the attitudes of others, it is possible to have this wonderful atmosphere—if we decide to bring it.

MAKING IT A REALITY:

Make the choice to bring the atmosphere you want by writing out the words that describe what you want your morning to be like. Try using a dry erase marker on your bathroom mirror. You can also write these 3 statements for "bringing it" on other windows and mirrors throughout your home:
* "Feelings are indicators not dictators."
* "Bad moments don't make bad mamas."
* "Find the joy treasure."

When your family asks you about these statements you've written, just smile and proudly proclaim, "They help me bring it."

Stay strong,

A New School Year - Time for a Change!!

I am a fan of Lysa TerKeurst. A couple of weeks ago she had a webcast for her new book Unglued. I love the book. It is extremely interesting and has been ministering to me and my heart. In the webcast she shares about Bringing It.

Nope its not about another dance / hip hop movie or a cheer leading moving but its about something that we can do which I am presently working on...

Lysa shared that as a speaker there are times when she will go out on stage and the audience is not as energetic as she would want them to be (now this is hard for me to imagine because I can't imaging going to see Lysa speak and not be energetic or excited).

Well, Lysa goes on to share that a friend of hers who is also an author - Angela Thomas, challenged and encouraged Lysa by saying that it doesn't matter what type of energy the audience has because it is her job as the speaker to bring it... to bring the energy that she wants. Lysa went on to share that this has helped her as a speaker but also as a mom. She said that she can't control how her kids act and react - she can't make them have a good attitude or have joy. But that if she wants joy in her home - she has to bring it... it starts with her.

In reading this book, this school year I made a commitment - not a promise - but a commitment that this year I was going to be different... not my children - but me. I have come to the realization that I am who keeps the temperature of the home... how about you? Think about it... when you have a bad attitude or upset or bothered, how do your children react... how does your home feel... well I know how my home feels and I certainly do not like it. And its not that I haven't "tried"... oh goodness - God knows I have.

But I am going to BRING IT!!!  Woooo Hoooo

Here is how Lysa puts its:
“Do you ever have these little zingers that fly into your morning and sting your heart? I suspect you do. And it’s these kinds of things that can catch us off guard and start ratcheting up the tension that leads to coming unglued.

We don’t want to be unglued mamas. We don’t want to have mornings filled with unglued moments. So, today let’s think about what we do want our mornings to be filled with … love, peace, joy, sanity, kind words, and interactions with our kids that won’t be retold years later on some therapist’s couch.

Yes, that’s what we want.

But here’s the tricky part: I can’t control the unpredictable attitudes my kids are going to bring into each morning.

I can’t set my hope for a good morning on what my kids might or might not do. I must bring the attitude with which I want the morning to be filled. I have to set my mind on things from above … things from God.”

This year I am claiming: "to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV)

I am claiming "love, peace, joy, sanity, kind words, and interactions with our kids".  Its not going to happen overnight - but I am going to be INTENTIONAL about it - yes I am.  My kids and there will being in one of my top priorities. 

I've realized that my children are in the midst of a storm each time they leave the home... they are bombarded with so many issues - some too big for even them to bear... issues, conversations that they shouldn't have to hear or be a part of. "I need to be that peace in their lives". But that can only happen if I start off my day soaking myself in the Word of God... not breezing through it but soaking in it... before I even get my kids up... I also have to learn to pick which battles I am going to fight... my Pastor told me this years ago... some things I am going to have to learn to let go... not everything is worth fighting for... Another point is that my children are 11, 8 and 6 - not babies at all... even though in my heart they are - I have to be more firm on teaching them the consequences for their own choices (I've done pretty good on this but I tend to slack and they know which buttons to push - they are very smart kids)... they know right from wrong... they know what happens when they spend too much time hanging out and then its time for bed - and their chores or homework or studying aren't done... mommy can't come to the rescue.

I have to quote something that Lysa said because she summed it up perfectly:

"So many times I vowed to do better but failed. I’d praise God one minute and in the next, yell and scream at my child. Then I felt the shame of my destructive behavior and my powerlessness to stop it. I felt completely unglued.

It donned on me that what kept me from change was the feeling I wouldn’t do it perfectly. I knew I’d mess up. Sometimes we think only instant progress is acceptable. But there’s a beautiful thing called imperfect progress.

The day I realized the glorious hope of this kind of change is the day I dared to believe things could be different. I told myself, “It’s okay to have setbacks. Just keep moving the line forward. Change will come. And it will be good.”And, it has been. Not easy, but good!"

Oh the number of times I have tried to be perfect... and failed.  We can't be perfect - that goal is impossible... but we can try and tell ourselves that its okay to have setbacks... as long and we keep moving forward... 

Join me in making this commitment... what memories do we want our children to have of us as moms... what legacy are we leaving behind... what are we teaching our children... Together lets take it one step at a time and BRING IT!!!  

When you hand it over to Him!!!

Wow what a day!!! 

I try not to brag about my kids because they are kids... and I've seen how some moms brag about their kids and then two seconds later you wonder if the mom was talking about some imaginary kids... but this is an occasion where this momma has to brag about her kids!!!

Today was a super duper long day - it was the first day of school but they woke up early and got all set - from Elizabeth to Priscilla... and they were all in cheerful moods...

After school we had a doctors appointment for their annual physicals - yes call me crazy - I don't know what possessed me to schedule it on the first day of school... but they survived... some moans and groans but who can blame them...

But I am not taking the credit - I have to praise Jesus... this morning we prayed and gave the day completely and totally to Jesus...

My Lord and Savior was in control today... If it would have been left up to me I would have been a nut case... but my darling friend and mentor Toni always reminds me that before her feet even touch the floor she is in prayer and praising God and giving the day over to Him...so I put it into practice.

I put the kids to bed early and am now praising God... The house is a wreck from the busyness of yesterday and all the preparation this morning but I am going to sit hear and continue praising my God for all His wonders and mercies of today.

Yep there are days when I get unglued (love the book) and there are days when I seem to have it all together... but whether its an up day or a nutty day I continue praising God!!! Because He is the only one to give me the strength to remain sane!!!

Today was a good day... a really good day!!!

On the Eve of the First Day of School

I can't believe that the Summer flew right past us and now it is the eve of the first day of school. These days are special in our home... even though its stressful and tense I try my best to make them memorable... its where more memories are created and traditions are passed down.

I remember how important it was when I was young. How my mom would give us those extra special baths... and condition our hair and then blow dry it and set it with colorful ribbons so it would be perfect the next morning. She would rub lotion on us and fix our new shoes which we got at St. Joseph's each and every year... our clothes would be ironed and ready with our new socks and underwear... our bookbags would be all lined up and ready to go.

Today when the kids woke up they were excited to see what was planned for today!!! So of course we did our last minute running around to get those last minute details... and when dad got home we took them out to eat at Bobby's Burger Palace... did some more last minute shopping... came home watched a movie and then I gave them those extra special baths... the hair was conditioned and instead of setting it in colorful ribbons I got out my blow dyer and did the girls hair (I could never do this as a profession)... but they were both so happy flinging their heads back and forth and enjoying that fresh blow dried bounce. I got out the lotion and lined all three of them up and gave them that extra special massage while they squirmed and giggled!! They were all excited with their new clothes, shoes, socks and underwear... the bookbags are all lined up and ready to go.

Before they went to bed they came together for our prayers... and we held hands and prayed for their first day of school, their teachers and classmates and for each one of them...

Oh how time flies by... A yearly "tradition" I also have with them is brag how BIG they are getting... and each year I remind them of how tiny they were when they were born... and I show them how they fit on a little pillow... and how sweet they smelled... and how I would kiss each one of them on their nose and snuggle with them... They love hearing those stories... and then we cuddle up...

Its passing on that love that makes all the difference in the world... one day my children will be preparing their sons and daughters for the first day of school and they will be passing on these moments and this is the legacy that I want to pass on...

A new school year begins - with all the challenges and excitement... we send them off... and then we plan for the First Day of School Party!!!  We can never have too many celebrations at our home!!!