Its taking me a several days to process this movie - Courageous. I think of it and my heart aches. I've always tried to be a good wife, a good mom, a good woman.... and in seeing this movie its has just made me realize that there are so many aspects of my life that I need to work on and let Him take charge of. If I am to be honest I am tired of trying.
Hmmmm - let me word this differently... I love my husband, I love my children... I am blessed - but because I am blessed and because of who gave me these blessings I feel that I should honor Him more with my life and stop trying and submit to Him.
Its so easy to fall into a routine... and get comfortable, especially when the kids grow a little older and become more independent. Its easy to fall into that trap that satan sets before us - they're okay, they don't need me, they have it figured out - when in reality this is when they need me more than ever.
If I am to be honest - and share my heart - which is the purpose of this blog.... I can say the same thing about my husband... I love him (I really do love him!!!) and I know that he loves me. So since we love each other and because we are "Christian" I tend to feel that I am "protected" from those "worldly" traps. Once again - I can be comfortable and not fix myself up, let myself go, I don't have to be on top of things because - hey he loves me... what a mistake!!!
I've seen alot of movies where bad things happen to loved ones, and even know some people who have lost loved ones in a blink of an eye and all you have to do is turn on the news and see death. Then we are left with if only I would have, should have - could have...
I guess because I went into this movie with an open heart - God convicted me of how I've been sloppy with His gifts to me and His blessings to me. Its easy to say tomorrow I'll start, or I'll wait for him to make the first move, or there can be 101 excuses to justify why not now.
The awesome part is that God is there waiting - to start all over again, right now.
I have no idea who is reading this blog - I see that there are alot of people reading it (which is a total surprise and shock to me lol) - praise God... If you are reading this entry - I want you to know that God has a wonderful plan for your life... yes for you. No matter what you've done, or what you haven't done, He is just waiting for you - He is already reaching His hand out to you.
Join me in this journey. Join me is discovering who we are in Him. Join me in starting a new chapter in our life - Home is where the story begins.... lets turn the page and start our story. And if you happen to be saying - oh my goodness but there are sooo many chapters - I've started over so many times - don't worry you are not alone. That is what makes you wonderful... and the awesome part is that you haven't totally given up!!!
You are loved!!! He loves you!!!
Loved
I was reading a devotional that I receive via email through Proverbs 31 ministries and I was tremendously blessed by it and I needed to share it with you.
I pray that you are blessed by it - and that it speaks to your heart as it did to mine.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5: 6-7 (NIV)
My friend, Kathrine Lee, once challenged me with this question: Are you doing this because you are loved or so that you’ll be loved?
Her question is a great one.
Doing something “so that we’ll be loved” is a trap many of us can get caught in. When I do something because I’m trying to get someone else to notice me, appreciate me, say something to build me up, or respect me more, my motives get skewed.
I become very “me” focused. I put unrealistic expectations on myself and the other person. And I can get stinkin’ angry when I don’t feel more noticed, appreciated, or respected.
I can get all twisted up and take my frustration out on myself and that person in an unfair way. I typically sabotage my own efforts and bend to discouragement and defeat.
But, doing something because I am loved is incredibly freeing.
I don’t view the relationship from the vantage point of what I stand to gain. Instead, I look at what I have the opportunity to give. I am “God focused” and love directed. I keep my expectations in check. And I am able to lavish the grace I know I so desperately need. I live free from regret with clarity of heart, mind, and soul.
So, how do I know if I’m doing things because I’m loved or so that I will be loved? See how easy or hard it is to apply this Scripture:
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5: 6-10 NIV)
Because I am loved, I can humble myself.
When I’m trying to be loved, I must build myself up to look better.
When I’m trying to be loved, I must build myself up to look better.
Because I am loved, I can cast all my anxiety on Him.
When I’m trying to be loved, I cast all my anxiety on my performance.
Because I am loved, I can resist Satan and stand firm in my faith.
When I’m trying to be loved, I listen to Satan and stand uncertain trying to rely on my feelings.
Because I am loved, I know God will use this to make me stronger – and I want that.
When I’m trying to be loved, I don’t want to be made stronger – I want life to be easier.
Indeed, I want to pursue life, relationships, and the goals I set from a healthy and free vantage point — because I am loved.
Dear Lord, I don’t want my motives to get skewed today. Help me to not be so ‘me’ focused. I want to live each day knowing that I am loved. Living because I am loved is freeing. I long to stop trying so hard. I know You love me, Lord and that You are making me stronger. Thank You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Worship...
A group of College and Career young ladies and men when to Atlanta GA for a Passion 2012 Conference. I had the honor of being there and watching in live through the internet. What an incredible blessing.
I was totally blessed by so many of the speakers, the singing and the conferences. I was even able to take my notes and really get into it. Loved it!!!
There was one thing that stood out for me... it was when Francis Chan spoke. He started by sharing about Worship. He said that he was sooo moved by the worship that he just wanted to fall to his knees but felt odd because he didn't know what others around him were going to say or think.
So many of us think singing when we hear the word Worship... but its soooo much more than that. It should be our lifestyle to Jesus. Yes the singing... but also the praying, the reading of the Word, etc. It should be an act of reverence and humility...not something we "do" and check off our list of things when we wake up in the morning, before we eat, at church... but with our whole lives.
You see the Jesus we pray to, talk to, sing to... well that Jesus is the same one that performed miracles.... He is the same one that raised the dead.... He is the same one that was brutally beaten, crucified and nailed to a cross... who died and was raised again... Yes that Jesus is the same one today... He hasn't changed... but have we?
To be honest there are times when I do get caught up in that whole well if I do this or say that hmmmm what will they say or think of me... its funny to think that way when Jesus doesn't change or me or loves me any less. My life should be a living sacrifice for Him... Its time to stop thinking of what others are going to say and realize that the only one I should be pleasing is Him... I soooo love my Lord and Savior... my Father and King...
I was totally blessed by so many of the speakers, the singing and the conferences. I was even able to take my notes and really get into it. Loved it!!!
There was one thing that stood out for me... it was when Francis Chan spoke. He started by sharing about Worship. He said that he was sooo moved by the worship that he just wanted to fall to his knees but felt odd because he didn't know what others around him were going to say or think.
So many of us think singing when we hear the word Worship... but its soooo much more than that. It should be our lifestyle to Jesus. Yes the singing... but also the praying, the reading of the Word, etc. It should be an act of reverence and humility...not something we "do" and check off our list of things when we wake up in the morning, before we eat, at church... but with our whole lives.
You see the Jesus we pray to, talk to, sing to... well that Jesus is the same one that performed miracles.... He is the same one that raised the dead.... He is the same one that was brutally beaten, crucified and nailed to a cross... who died and was raised again... Yes that Jesus is the same one today... He hasn't changed... but have we?
To be honest there are times when I do get caught up in that whole well if I do this or say that hmmmm what will they say or think of me... its funny to think that way when Jesus doesn't change or me or loves me any less. My life should be a living sacrifice for Him... Its time to stop thinking of what others are going to say and realize that the only one I should be pleasing is Him... I soooo love my Lord and Savior... my Father and King...
Pre what??
Sometimes I am so not prepared to be a mom... how did my mom do it!!! Oh my goodness...
So Elizabeth is hitting the Pre-PMS stage... ahhhhhh!!!! Where is the manual for this stage... who is hiding it?? This poor girl just flips at a blink of an eye. One second she is this lovely beautiful girl.... and then the slightest sound like breathing throws her over the edge... Two days ago she just cried and cried and cried... even my husband was in shock lol... Her eyes were all swollen and puffy. Oh my goodness if she knew I was writing about her - she would probably faint!!!
As of right now - I've been talking to her and explaining things to her and trying to be understanding... I guess I'm going to have to go the physical route and start to hug her...
As I'm writing this - she comes out of her bed pouting over to her daddy... ay ay ay
She is getting so big and developing into a beautiful young lady... she has such a beautiful and tender heart... goodness I just wish she could stay my little girl forever and not have to deal with these new stages in life. I'll have to pray just a little harder (for myself)... I know that how I treat this situation will be imprinted on her heart and will make a difference in her life. Just gotta keep reminding my princess how much I love her and am here for her.
So Elizabeth is hitting the Pre-PMS stage... ahhhhhh!!!! Where is the manual for this stage... who is hiding it?? This poor girl just flips at a blink of an eye. One second she is this lovely beautiful girl.... and then the slightest sound like breathing throws her over the edge... Two days ago she just cried and cried and cried... even my husband was in shock lol... Her eyes were all swollen and puffy. Oh my goodness if she knew I was writing about her - she would probably faint!!!
As of right now - I've been talking to her and explaining things to her and trying to be understanding... I guess I'm going to have to go the physical route and start to hug her...
As I'm writing this - she comes out of her bed pouting over to her daddy... ay ay ay
She is getting so big and developing into a beautiful young lady... she has such a beautiful and tender heart... goodness I just wish she could stay my little girl forever and not have to deal with these new stages in life. I'll have to pray just a little harder (for myself)... I know that how I treat this situation will be imprinted on her heart and will make a difference in her life. Just gotta keep reminding my princess how much I love her and am here for her.
Running to His arms....
Goodness I have not been able to get enough of this song... I usually go on these hmmmm what do you call it... well I get stuck on a song and I hear it all day long... its like that is what I am feeling at the moment... and this week once again its been this song...
My heart will sing no other name... Jesus Jesus
Oh I'm running to your arms, I'm running to your arms....
I guess that is what I want to do - I just want to run to His arms and just fall into them... and to fall into His embrace. How wonderful would that be.
Changes
Wow this week I've noticed how many distractions we are ( I am ) faced with daily. But distractions that I allow to happen... not the ones that come up unexpectedly... but that I invite in to my life. We may start the day with the best intentions and then WHAM... I end up getting sidetracked and then there it goes. God has really been stirring up my heart with this... So in order to stay focused - I need to focus more on Him and His Word for me. Honestly the solutions are all there in His book... gotta get back to the basics. Reading, studying, praying and in doing those things I will then have time for my children, my husband and my home.
Praise God that in Him I can start brand new again and its okay...
Praise God that in Him I can start brand new again and its okay...
My Delights
Resolutions... yep I wrote about that a few days ago and now that I am into day 2 of the new year I am changing things around. Resolutions doesn't quite roll off my tongue and make me happy. So I've decided to change the word to Delights... yep - Delights!!! Delights make me happy... its something about the word that makes me smile.
What do I want to Delight myself in this new year? What causes me delight? So the following is my list of Delights and what I want to work on and grow in:
- The Word - my relationship with my Savior
- My hubby - being the wife I was created to be - my husband is a gift from God - Am I taking care of that gift? Of my responsibilities?
- My children - I want to be a better mom... The Lord has entrusted these children to me...
- My home... seeing it "clean" and "organized". This home is an answered prayer... I am so thankful for it.
- Challenges - taking risks, being different!!!
- Fun - laughing more, being silly, being me
- Changes - been in a funk - getting out of it and making some internal and external changes - I don't know what they are yet - but I've put it in God's hand and I'm ready
- Red shoes - but of course...
- Red lipstick - to match the red shoes!!!
- Working Out - Zumba!!! - Gotta get in shape but need to have fun in the process
- Relaxing - I felt I was too uptight in 2011 - going to learn to truly relax and breathe
- Not Yelling, Shouting, Screaming lol - Yep I do way too much of this that it drives me bonkers. My kids aren't hearing impaired... so why???
These are just a few... 2011 was an "odd" year but it was GREAT... I can't complain - we were healthy, had a roof over our heads... our needs were met. For 2012 I want to take it up a notch... to take that step, to leap forward without doubt and having full FAITH in Him!!!
The New Year
This week I have been thinking about New Year's resolutions and traditions in the Cabrera household and even though I've tried to get some going... and making them special and memorable I think that its just “one more-thing-to-do-but-nobody-really-cares-about” tradition.
So I've looked up the definition of tradition: “the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice.” The second definition read, “a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting and a continuing pattern of culture, beliefs or practices.”
I am realizing that the tangible traditions that we carry out are not the only things we pass down to our kids; the true traditions come from the heart.
For 2012, we are making a New Year’s resolution to focus on the spiritual traditions that we can pass down throughout the entire year in the Cabrera home. Traditions that will matter long term, and make a difference in the hearts of others.
Traditions like the importance about God’s Word and growing in Him; putting others first; caring about our sisters and brothers; honoring my husband; being respectful to parents and elders; being polite and considerate; forgiving others; and making Christ a priority year round, not just during the "holidays". But most of all, I don’t want these spiritual traditions to be passed down simply by word of mouth, but rather by practice... having my children seeing God at work in me. I know I need to live out these traditions in my own life before I can pass them down to anyone else.
The tradition of making Jesus a priority, is a tradition worth passing down. This year I pray that I will not lose sight at times of what is really important, but that God will help me to see ways I can build new spiritual traditions in my home which will impact hearts and lives for generations to come.
So I've looked up the definition of tradition: “the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice.” The second definition read, “a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting and a continuing pattern of culture, beliefs or practices.”
I am realizing that the tangible traditions that we carry out are not the only things we pass down to our kids; the true traditions come from the heart.
For 2012, we are making a New Year’s resolution to focus on the spiritual traditions that we can pass down throughout the entire year in the Cabrera home. Traditions that will matter long term, and make a difference in the hearts of others.
Traditions like the importance about God’s Word and growing in Him; putting others first; caring about our sisters and brothers; honoring my husband; being respectful to parents and elders; being polite and considerate; forgiving others; and making Christ a priority year round, not just during the "holidays". But most of all, I don’t want these spiritual traditions to be passed down simply by word of mouth, but rather by practice... having my children seeing God at work in me. I know I need to live out these traditions in my own life before I can pass them down to anyone else.
The tradition of making Jesus a priority, is a tradition worth passing down. This year I pray that I will not lose sight at times of what is really important, but that God will help me to see ways I can build new spiritual traditions in my home which will impact hearts and lives for generations to come.
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