So when I researched Leap Day/Year... this is what I found:
Leap Years are needed to keep our calendar in alignment with the Earth's revolutions around the sun. It takes the Earth approximately 365.242199 days (a tropical year) to circle once around the Sun. If we didn't add a day on February 29 nearly every 4 years, we would lose almost six hours every year. After only 100 years, our calendar would be off by approximately 24 days!
Interesting isn't it. Well to keep it simple - Leap Year means something more to me... its my mom's birthday. Yep my mom was born on February 29th. So I went over today with the kids to celebrate with her together with my aunts and family.
I have an amazing woman as my mom. We may not have had the greatest relationship. I always felt there was something there.. and then when I hit 15 I let a relationship come between us and my family... It was a very very hard time. But little by little we started anew and we have come a long way... and still have a long way to go - but God is soooo good, I can praise Him because today we are not where we were years ago.
During that "time" I didn't understand much of what was going on in my life and why my mom was the was she was. I spent a long time pointing the finger at her. But now that I've "grown" up and have children of my own - one of them being a "mini me"... I can say WOW... what a woman.
My mom is from the Dominican Republic... she came here when she was 19... fell in love with my dad and had a family... (in a nutshell)... she was not what would be considered an educated woman, she was not fluent in English, but she was a HOMEMAKER... with time we were able to see that a piece of paper did not determine your education as she taught us and helped us with our homework (in her way - but it worked), she made sure that she instilled in us those basic principles that many parents today don't even think twice about. My mom showed us through her actions about love, caring, being there for others. She taught us about believing is something GREATER and the list can go on and on.
There were many other things that she taught us that maybe I didn't understand, agree with, want to be taught, or felt that I needed to learn from her. But one thing that I did learn was that when my mom left the hospital with each one of us no one handed her a how to raise your child manual... there was no special book, she was without Oprah or Dr. Phil... without all those How To books... She raised us her way and today I can say we are three incredible women. And.... on top of wearing countless hats - she was a babysitter - and she made such an impression in the lives of so many children and families.
I still have so much to learn about my mom, so much to discover. There is so much that I don't know or understand about the woman who is my mom... but one thing that I do know is that in her own special way, she does love me... and she has taught me so much. Thank you for being such a wonderful woman... and incredible mom. And yes... in my own special way - I love her too.. more than she will ever know... Feliz Cumpleanos Mami!!!
Day 7 - Flowers
A couple of years ago a song a song titled: If We Are the Body by Casting Crowns came out. It was okay... had a catchy tune - but after a while I was like ughhh not again... but then the more I heard it, heard the words... I was able to hear the message.
The chorus goes like this:
The chorus goes like this:
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way? There is a way.
Today someone was His hands and His feet. Today a friend showed up at work with these beautiful bright colored flowers... with everything going on - I also had a horrible cold and I was just feeling yucky... wanted to be home and snuggled under the covers. When I saw her come in and she surprised me with the flowers but heart was full of joy. God knew what I needed... and she was the instrument He used...
I sit here and enjoy my beautiful flowers and as I see them I can see what God is trying to tell me... He loves me and has me under His wings of love... its going to be okay.
How are you letting God use you... Are you reaching out to others? Are you sharing His love with others? Are you being obedient to what God is calling you to do...?
Take that first step... God wants to do GREAT things through your life to reach others.
Day 6 - Live with Joy!!!
Have you wondered what your kids love about you... yep I have!! What do they love about their mommy... besides that I pick up after them and clean their rooms lol...
So last week I sat down my kids and asked them "so what do you love about mommy"... it first turned into a little argument as to who was going to go first, but after we went by birth order (which my little one does not like) it was funny to hear their responses... so of them I wouldn't have said about myself - because I didn't see that quality in me... but its awesome the eyes they saw me with. The love that I am beautiful, Godly, a great cook, funny, loving, and the list when on and on... (I have three kids)
Then they turned the tables around and asked me... but they made sure that I didn't repeat any of the answers...
So I sat them all down and in the midst of their giggles I shared what I loved about each one of them...
We are not rich. We are okay I suppose... we try to supply all of our kids needs and some wants from time to time... but how I pray that moments like this they will keep in their hearts forever.
I know they are young and one day they might grown up and transform into an alien and forget all this lovey dovey stuff... and say things like we don't love them because they can't stay out late, or can't wear makeup or those "fashionable" clothes... lol...
But the seeds of love have been deeply planted in each heart.
It got even better when dad got home from work and they ran to meet him... all shouting dad so what do you love about me.
At the end of the evening my little one Priscilla cuddles up with me and says that she is special because was a surprise from God and that makes her even more special!!! I just had to laugh and kiss her... as I reminded my spunkalicious one that yes she is truly special and so are her sister and brother...
Thank you Jesus for reminding me how much you love me through these precious little ones.
Day 5 - Resignation
So this is the step that is the hardest for me and where I usually get stuck on... RESIGNATION.
Because of my personality I have a hard time moving past this stage... not being able to "fix" this problem... My head is spinning with things I would like to put down that sound nice, like the right things to say... but it just wouldn't be real.
Yes yes yes I know that I have stated countless times that I'm a believer, therefore I should let God do the "fixing"... lol the excuses to justify this are just swirling in my head...
Do you ever experience this??? I don't think I'm the only nutty one.
I am not to rescue but to pray
But God is soooo good... even when I am being stubborn - He sends blessings my way reminding me that I am not alone... today He spoke to me through a friend who reminded me what a special friendship we have and that I am not alone...
So many reasons to move on and to enjoy what God has given to me, what He has blessed me with... but haven't you ever wanted something soooo badly that you just can't give up!!! My head and my heart are just not in sync... The sad part is that each second, day, that I "waste" on this is time that is lost and that I will not get back.
I heard this song for the first time at a women's retreat... the words are soooo perfect for what I am feeling in my heart. I know that I must let go and lay this burden down, lay my heart at the foot of the cross. I must forgive. Oh Jesus this is my prayer.
All in all, I'm not angry about none of this... I have been able to use this and minister to so many young girls in our youth group... to help them see the importance of cherishing what they have. I know God allows everything to happen for a reason... I just wish it weren't sooo painful sometimes - but then again my pain is nothing in comparison to what He endured for me...
I started to write about this as "therapy"... but sometimes I feel as though I'm writing to someone... and I just want you to know that as I write... I pray for you too. The journey is a hard one but praise God we don't have to walk it alone.
Day 4 - Soaking in Him
The next step in the Grief Cycle is anger / bargaining... but right now I just want to soak in God's word... His encouragement for me...
Here are several scriptures that speak to me and tell me what I need to do. Its funny but in reading these verses over and over again I see that they are full of verbs - actions words - things that I need to work on.
Be strong, take courage, wait, reverently and worshipfully fear God, wait patiently for it, and be joyful in hope.
Here are several scriptures that speak to me and tell me what I need to do. Its funny but in reading these verses over and over again I see that they are full of verbs - actions words - things that I need to work on.
Be strong, take courage, wait, reverently and worshipfully fear God, wait patiently for it, and be joyful in hope.
"Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for and expect the Lord!" Psalm 31:24
"Those who reverently and worshipfully fear You will see me and be glad, because I have hoped in Your word and tarried for it." Psalm 119:74
"But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
"But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:24, 25
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
For the past several weeks my Pastor has been preaching on this verse:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"Those who reverently and worshipfully fear You will see me and be glad, because I have hoped in Your word and tarried for it." Psalm 119:74
"But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
"But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:24, 25
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
For the past several weeks my Pastor has been preaching on this verse:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
That is a GREAT reminder.
I believe, I trust that God will give me a peace when I trust him to take my worries and concerns. And when I don't feel peaceful I will not worry, I will just keep telling myself that God is in control and I will 'Take captive EVERY thought to make it obedient to Christ.' (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Thank you God for you give us everything we need for life.
I believe, I trust that God will give me a peace when I trust him to take my worries and concerns. And when I don't feel peaceful I will not worry, I will just keep telling myself that God is in control and I will 'Take captive EVERY thought to make it obedient to Christ.' (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Thank you God for you give us everything we need for life.
Day 3 - Let the healing begin
So when there is a death there is something known as the Grief Cycle...
You're in shock, then there is denial, you may be angry / you bargain, there is resignation, and then acceptance.
One thing that Nina did reassure me of what that even though this dream / illusion had died I was not a failure, I was not letting God down.
You may be asking at this point - what am I talking about? What died? What is going on?
I would just prefer not to get into specifics - the specifics are not important.
What is important is to fully understand that none of us are perfect. I am sure in one time of our lives or another we have had a dream that we have held onto... hoping, praying that the person, the situation, life would change. We keep trying to change ourselves, the situation, our feelings... but nothing... only to go right back to square one. But I've been through this cycle several times that once again I find myself at the stage of denial... I truly can't believe this is happening.... WHY??? I should have... and the countless questions I drive myself crazy with.
Life is not easy... its okay to have a dream die but what is important is to move on... and begin again with a new dream and not wallow in regret or self pity but to look upward to let God heal our hearts and hope once again.
We need too remind ourselves like David did that Hope is Real. It comes from God.
"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you." Psalm 39:7
You're in shock, then there is denial, you may be angry / you bargain, there is resignation, and then acceptance.
One thing that Nina did reassure me of what that even though this dream / illusion had died I was not a failure, I was not letting God down.
You may be asking at this point - what am I talking about? What died? What is going on?
I would just prefer not to get into specifics - the specifics are not important.
What is important is to fully understand that none of us are perfect. I am sure in one time of our lives or another we have had a dream that we have held onto... hoping, praying that the person, the situation, life would change. We keep trying to change ourselves, the situation, our feelings... but nothing... only to go right back to square one. But I've been through this cycle several times that once again I find myself at the stage of denial... I truly can't believe this is happening.... WHY??? I should have... and the countless questions I drive myself crazy with.
Life is not easy... its okay to have a dream die but what is important is to move on... and begin again with a new dream and not wallow in regret or self pity but to look upward to let God heal our hearts and hope once again.
We need too remind ourselves like David did that Hope is Real. It comes from God.
"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you." Psalm 39:7
"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:11
"Show me the path where I should walk, O LORD; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." Psalm 25:4-5
"No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame," Psalm 25:3
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love," Psalm 33:18
"Remember your promise to me, for it is my only hope." Psalm 119:49
I need to trust God. What does God say about who you are and what His will is for your life? Don't go by your feelings. Instead we should remind ourselves that God only has plans for us that are good. Jeremiah helps us remember what God has to say about us. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
"Show me the path where I should walk, O LORD; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." Psalm 25:4-5
"No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame," Psalm 25:3
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love," Psalm 33:18
"Remember your promise to me, for it is my only hope." Psalm 119:49
I need to trust God. What does God say about who you are and what His will is for your life? Don't go by your feelings. Instead we should remind ourselves that God only has plans for us that are good. Jeremiah helps us remember what God has to say about us. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
Day 2 - Death of a Dream
Have you ever had a dream? A dream that you fought for? A dream that you just held on to?
I did.
Its a painful realization... but one that I must come to accept. Not all dreams come true.
For years I have prayed... and questioned what am I doing wrong? But as the tears fell, there was no answer. As hard as it was to accept, this was a dream, possibly even an illusion that I had made up in my heart...
I consider myself to be a hopeful person. I like to put things in a way that there is never a need to give up... always trying, always another chance but there are times when what I had played out in my head as the perfect dream doesn't happen.
Last week I was feeling very very lonely... sad, hurt... which is odd - I have a husband who loves me and is always there and four wonderful kids who never miss a step lol... but I just had this overwhelming sense of feeling alone - I realized that the reason I was feeling this way was because I was mourning of the death of my dream. My friend Nina helped me to understand that its okay to feel this way and that I wasn't nutty for feeling what I was... But she also helped me realize that when there is a death - there is a process, a cycle we must face.
So now I must take that step toward the healing process.
I did.
Its a painful realization... but one that I must come to accept. Not all dreams come true.
For years I have prayed... and questioned what am I doing wrong? But as the tears fell, there was no answer. As hard as it was to accept, this was a dream, possibly even an illusion that I had made up in my heart...
I consider myself to be a hopeful person. I like to put things in a way that there is never a need to give up... always trying, always another chance but there are times when what I had played out in my head as the perfect dream doesn't happen.
Last week I was feeling very very lonely... sad, hurt... which is odd - I have a husband who loves me and is always there and four wonderful kids who never miss a step lol... but I just had this overwhelming sense of feeling alone - I realized that the reason I was feeling this way was because I was mourning of the death of my dream. My friend Nina helped me to understand that its okay to feel this way and that I wasn't nutty for feeling what I was... But she also helped me realize that when there is a death - there is a process, a cycle we must face.
So now I must take that step toward the healing process.
Day 1 of a New Start
As a believer of Jesus Christ I don't believe in lent. I took this quote from John MacArthur which explains its pretty clear: "But for the Christian, every day is resurrection day; because we walk and talk with the living Christ every day; because His living is through us every day. We do not celebrate an event. We do not remember a dead Savior. We are not attracted by painfully distorted crucifixes. We worship, we love, we live every day in the presence of a risen, living Lord Jesus Christ. So every day is an Easter celebration for us. Every day is resurrection day. That doesn't mean it's wrong to focus on this in a special way. While the world's attention is brought to Christ, we wanna take every opportunity to speak of our Lord's resurrection, for that is ever and always our message;"
As a believer I am free in Jesus and there is nothing that I need to do, say, repeat, etc to gain His favor. All my sins - past, present and future have been forgiven. For some time I have felt the need to step away from "distractions" and delve into God's word and into deep prayer but have always found myself to say - tomorrow. Well tomorrow has come and I have taken the first step I am taking taking off from my "addiction" to Facebook. I don't know how long it will be for... but now I am submitting to Him. There are several things in my life I need to deal with and today I am ready.
Tomorrow by The Winans
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