I am a mom of really good kids... yes - they are ordinary kids - just like me - (and I chuckled as I wrote that) I try to be a good mom and love of them, teach them everyday lessons and help them with their school work and such - the mom stuff - with a fair share of complaining, shouting and repeating myself (alot)... One thing that I tend to hear myself repeating more as they get older is "stop that - apologize" "say I'm sorry"... and yes there are many times when they repeat it and there its done - only to start up again.
Well during this light bulb moment I came to a realization that as a child - the same thing happened to me. I was taught to apologize for doing something wrong or saying something wrong - but never really taught why... just repeat the words and it'll be okay... and yeah as good kids they'll repeat the words - mom is happy... its all okay!
Its not okay...
I understand that kids will be kids and that they will push each others buttons but do they - truly understand what "I am sorry" really means... do we understand what those words really mean.
Three words that so easily roll off our tongue - but have we taken the time to think about the persons feelings, how our words or actions may have hurt them, offended them, affected them. Hmmm or how about those times when we assumed that the other person knew we were sorry - but only never to utter the words loud enough for them to ever hear...
I think about my Heavenly Father and the same thing... its so easy for us to do something wrong and ask God for forgiveness - and yep even utter those childlike words - "I promise never to do it again"... does that sound familiar huh??
I look at my kids in the heat of the moment... knowing that they'll start up again just as... my Heavenly Father looks down at me and wonders the same thing many many times...
Asking for forgiveness - have we truly stopped to consider the weight of those words?
Again I have to let out a chuckle - its so easy to want to defend or to justify our actions... to spin the tables as my husband like to say.
The fear of being humble...
Of admitting wrongdoing...
Oh the power of words...
Teaching communication - teaching about responsibility - accountability, empathy... its not about uttering those words - I'm sorry - so our children will make us happy - but its teaching them about being real... opening their minds and hearts to other people's emotions and feelings... its teaching them that after they apologize they also have to pray about it... to ask God to help them with their speech, how they react, etc...
Just as we do... or do we?
Oh but there are those times when its hard... oh so very hard...
Oh but there are those times when its hard... oh so very hard...
A couple of months ago in our Young Adult Bible Study - we read and discussed a book titled Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. The book was an eye opener. Its about those sins that we really don't think are sins... when we think of sin we think of those big ones - murdering, adultery, stealing, you know the ones that can be seen... but right off the bat we discussed anger, gossip, being selfish, critical, no self control... ouch!! Its easy to see those things in my kids - and yes even in myself... but then what? What must we do?
We have to ask for forgiveness, we have to repent (a sincere resolve to turn away from sin and toward God). And if we are the person who was hurt, we must be willing to forgive the other person, not to feel resentment or hold a grudge. We are not able to completely forget what happened, but we must let go of the anger and resentment. And then we must turn to God and confess...
Some bible verses are:
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:23
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
Its not as easy as just saying I'm sorry or telling my kids or others just to utter those simple words... if we are to grow - there is more to it...
Its not just about repeating three simple words... its about an attitude of our heart... its about letting God correct us and mold us... its not an easy process - many times we fight it and its painful - but think of the blessings that will come with it. How we will flourish...
Its about taking the time to be real and talk - and not just "repeat after me"... its what Jesus did... what are we passing on?
