18 Lessons from Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife

The following is a post from Pastor Mark Driscoll's blog: http://blog.marshillchurch.org/

Mark Driscoll is a Pastor and an author that Ray and myself listen to from time to time. For his wedding anniversary, him and his wife Grace complied a list of 18 lessons they have learned over 18 years.

Enjoy and be blessed... I know I was.


Grace’s 18 Lessons
  1. Make time with Jesus your first priority, husband second priority.
  2. Be intimate often.
  3. Be willing to have hard and honest conversations, and pray for Jesus to make them fruitful.
  4. Pray for wisdom often.
  5. The enemy is always ready to divide you during trials. Don’t let him; cling to Jesus and each other.
  6. Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive …
  7. Don’t enable his sin, but pray for wisdom in timing and words, and be respectful when addressing it.
  8. Be a woman of inner and outer beauty.
  9. Make your home a place of retreat and rest.
  10. Study your husband, appreciate, value and respect him, especially when you don’t “feel” like it.
  11. HAVE FUN.
  12. Pray against lies. Memorize the truth of scripture.
  13. Spend regular, meaningful time together. Invest in the relationship.
  14. Don’t let bitterness set in if you are hurt or frustrated; dig up the root and pray it through.
  15. Be an attentive and available listener.
  16. Be teachable and willing to submit.
  17. Set your heart and body toward your husband and don’t let either wander.
  18. Repent often and allow trustworthy people to speak into your lives.

Pastor Mark’s 18 lessons
(1-4 Spiritual, 5-8 Family, 9-10 Financial, 11-18 Practical)
  1. Stay in church community and under godly authority.
  2. Stay in your Bible and always have at least a few good Christian books you are reading.
  3. Be the spiritual leader by praying with your family, modeling followership of Jesus, repenting of sin, teaching your family, etc.
  4. Serve your family and serve others as a family.
  5. Pick a good potential mom and grandma for a wife.
  6. If she respects you, the kids will too. If she does not, your family will be a grief to you.
  7. Work with her to make the home, holidays, vacations, and other times filled with fun, laughter, and memories.
  8. Just get through the rough seasons (sickness, demanding newborns, tough work seasons, extended family troubles, e.g.) by God’s grace.
  9. Find an honest way to make enough money to give to God, be generous with others, and take care of your family.
  10. Spend some money to make her life easier (dependable car, babysitting help, decent home, e.g.)
  11. Try to make her laugh a lot and touch her heart and soul before you touch her body.
  12. She’s not a guy, does not want to be treated like a guy, spoken to like a guy, or do what guys do.
  13. She will sanctify you. It’s not her fault that your sin is obvious in relationship with her as she’s not changing you, but rather exposing you.
  14. Syncing schedules is key: meet every week to organize your life together and plan out your life as one so you don’t live parallel lives.
  15. Date night is important so make it happen, ideally every week.
  16. Her needs change, especially when she becomes a mother, so look for new ways to humbly serve her.
  17. Encouragement is to a wife as water is to a plant.
  18. Every year gets better by the grace of God. Keep pressing forward together using the gospel to repent, forgive, and become more like Jesus.
The above is from Pastor Mark Driscoll's blog: http://blog.marshillchurch.org/

Trying to teach a lesson... lesson learned!

This year I thought it would be a great idea to introduce a "word" a month to the Daughters of the King - the beautiful young ladies of our CrossLife young adult ministry - so they can to pray and meditate on and see how it can be applied to their lives.

Well I thought it was a great idea, don't you???

Ughhhh - well not anymore lol... The word I decided we would start off with is "Sensitive"- to take the focus off of us and make us aware of others. There are times when the Lord sends people our way and we are so caught up in our own lives and our own problems that we miss out on opportunities to be a blessing to someone else. To be more sensitive to the needs of the other girls in the group - how we approach each other, pray for each other, etc.

I believed that the Lord would think this was a fantastic idea - but I am beginning to feel that He feels the need to try it out on me first!!! ahhhhhh - doesn't He remember that He gave me extra doses of sensitivity!!!

Those of you who know me - know of my "issue" - my sensitivity makes me cry at a drop of a dime... Ray makes jokes about it and says that in the bible times I would have been hired left and right...

"Professional mourners have played a part in funeral ceremonies for thousands of years. In many countries, tradition dictates that the family of the dead, especially children and grandchildren, must express their grief in a very outward manner. Not crying enough or at sufficient decibel levels would be seen as a lack of filial piety so people started hiring professional mourners to ensure a noisy and very passionate farewell."

Therefore thus says the LORD, the God of hosts, the Lord: “In all the squares there shall be wailing, and in all the streets they shall say, ‘Alas! Alas!’ They shall call the farmers to mourning and to wailing those who are skilled in lamentation, 
Amos 5:16

My hand up in the air waving it frantically - me me - I'm skilled in wailing and lamentation!!!

It doesn't take much for the tears to come flowing down... a hallmark commercial... a great message... someone's story... thinking of my kids... a movie... oh the list can just go on and on.... and personally its even a good thing to help clear the tear ducts... 

"Hmmmmm but hold on" the Lord speaks to my heart... "that is not the type of sensitivity I am speaking about" He whispers to me ever so gently - as my heart begins to well up.   I know what He is saying - but like a rebellious child I answer back: What are you talking about Lord??  lol!!! (I just crack myself up - because as soon as I finish my question I start to wonder - why why why did I ask Him) I knew what He was speaking to my heart about... and now the lessons come - and it comes in full force and its starting to hurt.  No turning back this time around.

You know what I'm talking about I'm sure - those moments when we ignore someone... maybe don't take the time to really find out how someone is doing, maybe we are just not nice to them... or we rush the conversation... pretend we don't see them... maybe we hurt someone's feelings... oh the list can go on and on...

And yes, we can use the excuse and say - well we are human.. we all have our moments - we all have bad days... but then there are those moments when we know what we did and the Lord gently tugs at our hearts - bringing to light what we have done and how we have hurt someone... oh now that hurts - when the Lord brings to our mind the pain we have caused another...

Now what do we do... how can we "pretend" we didn't hear the Lord speaking to us or nudging at our heart. How can we look at the individual the same way after the Lord reveals truth to us.

Apologizing is a way of recognizing our sins. We need to accept responsibility for our actions.  We need to repent.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. 
The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. 
James 5:16

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.


Ephesians 4:32


By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:35

It is so very hard to admit you have hurt someone - especially someone you love and care for.  Its hard to get beyond ourselves and go and ask for forgiveness... to put the me aside...  

To be sensitive to the Lord's leading...
To be sensitive to the needs of others...

Oh this is so not easy - but we are called to be Christlike - 

Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.
1 John 2:6

Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:11

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.
1 Peter 2:21

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Ephesians 5:1-2

May these lyrics by Brandon Heath's song "Give me Your Eyes" be our prayer:

Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see

Its not a wonderful feeling when my Heavenly Father disciplines me and tells me go and apologize. Its like I've let Him down... but the beautiful part of this is that He does that because He loves me. 
 
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,"
Hebrews 12:5-6

Praising God for his tough but awesome lesson... now I can go to my beautiful Daughters of the King and truly say - let us be sensitive to others - let us take the focus off us and be aware of others - and be able to truly share my heart and be real... because I've taken that step.

Covered - by Brandon Williams

This morning I had the pleasure of reading the following piece.  It was written by a young man in our CrossLife Ministry.  When I was reading it - the words just came out at me...  Brandon always has a way with words - I hope you enjoy it...  and my "notes" at the end!!

Confinement, restriction, entrapment, peaking through the hole of something not your own.

I sit and wonder why, all I hear are sounds of a cry. Shackled and bound by the metal and wood, escape if only i could. Peering through the lens of another, why does it feel like such a bother. As if it ensnares me held to keep, the only thing i can do is weep.

Five, seven, eleven, how many are there? I try to count them but it never seems to end. Glaring, staring, following you everywhere you go. They don't seem to go away no matter where I go. And when I finally think I'm free, I put my hand on my face and there it is again. Grasping, glued, plastered to my face as if a second layer of skin. How did I not notice before? How long has it been there? Minutes, hours, days, weeks, when did I lose myself? Or have I ever been myself?

For as long as I can remember, I can't seem to find mine. After a while I feel like just giving up. To never search for it, to settle. Settle with failure and sadness. Settle for darkness and oppression. To settle for something not meant for me.

All of you have been placed upon me, for my betterment and protection. But all I see is something not of me. A hush with no face, no desire, no opinion, no destination of its own. You did your best, but now I'm worse off. Struggling when I shouldn't be. Questioning when I shouldn't have to. Searching when I should already be there.

I don't really know where to start to find mine, and the only place I can start is with all of these. Feelings, emotions, wants, desires, hope, sadness, happiness, grief, oppression. So many things were used to forge the masks that have been laid upon me. What should mine be made from? Where's the one meant for me? Which one do I need to wear to be me? Or maybe just for now we need to wear one. Because one day we will have no use for them. Because nothing will be hidden and all will be shown.
Brandon Williams


What does it mean to be a part of the family of God? 
It means, that God knows you and has seen behind your last mask... 

God sees through the mask right down to the “real you”. He sees all the flaws and mistakes and failures and yet loves us completely and unconditionally. Isn't it comforting to know how much He loves us? 

Psalm 139 tells us that God searches us and knows us. He knows us completely, from the inside out. He knows a word before it even reaches our tongue. 

You know, it is true that we all wear a lot of different masks these days. Our masks are our protection from a not so nice and unaccepting world. They become a barrier between yourself and others. You meet someone on the street, or at the store or even at church - yes church - and they ask you how you are doing. 

You put on your smile, say fine and ask them the same thing and they put on their smile and say fine and then you both go your separate ways feeling miserable. The Lord is familiar with our ways. He isn't surprised by us. He knows every thought, every worry, every joy, every hurt. There is no where we can run from His Spirit, no where to escape His love, no mask to hide our person from Him. With God, we can stop pretending, take off our mask, and allow Him to love us.

“…being confident of this, 
that he who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” 
Philippians 1:6

"Do it on your own"... A lesson from a very wise young man - Tim Hegedus

Tim, or Mr. Timoteo as I lovingly call this young man - is just a blessing and inspiration to me personally and to my family.  He was a part of our youth group and well I am trying to think of the word to describe him - but none comes to mind... He is just a well balanced young man.  He could joke around with the best of them, perform some cool rap songs at the youth talent show retreats, and to top it off preach a great message or two - or was it three!!!  It has been incredible to see him grow and mature into the young man he is today.  
When he is home during his school breaks - he joins us in CrossLife - our young adult ministry... and to listen to what he is doing and how he has changed just brings so much joy to my heart.  Tim is now a freshman at Carin University.  He started a blog last week and this is one of his entries which I wanted to share with you.  I want to encourage you to visit his blog: achoicetomove.weebly.com and follow him on his journey.  I know you will be incredibly blessed!

"Just make sure Danny does his schoolwork before he watches any television," said my mom said as my dad and her started for the door. "We will be back in a couple hours, just make sure Danny gets those worksheets done." "Okay mom I got it," I said. They were gone, and after about an hour of us playing with his trains and us trying to find where mom hid the Sunchips (Danny wanted them more than I did I promise), it was time to get that schoolwork done. "Alright Dan, time to get this work done so we can watch some TV before mom gets back."

We both sat at the table, my little brother looking at the papers like they were written in Egyptian and there was no way he could decipher the hieroglyphs. "I need help Tim," he said as he looked up to me. "Okay, I'll help," I said. I turned the paper towards me as we both worked our way through the first 6 addition problems (pretty tough stuff for a five-year old). After around ten minutes we were done and we moved on to the subtraction problems, but with these my brother was immediately discouraged past the single-digits.

We tried everything from counting on his fingers, exchanging coins, and even counting in order. After 15 minutes however, Danny was exhausted and I could see it on his face as he grew frustrated with each attempt. He could probably see the same look on my face as I tried explaining to him how easy it was over and over. "I'm going to be stuck here for a million billion years!" "Only you can decide that Danny," I said to him.

"I can't do it," he said calmly. After a couple minutes of me trying to help him he had this defeated look in his eyes and he sat looking up to me to give him the answers to the problems. "Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something Danny, not even yourself," I said to him. "The only one that is going to stop you is you." He looked down at the paper, silent but still frustrated. "Do you need any help?" I asked.

"No, let me do it on my own."

To this I was a bit surprised, but let him be, I told him to come ask me if he needed anything. I sat down in the next room and waited. 5 minutes passed, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, then 20, until finally my mom and dad came home. Wishing we had gotten more of his work done I said to my mom a bit irritated, "Yea mom, Danny was having such a hard time with the math and reading sheets." "Relax Tim, he is still learning," she said to me.

In the next days I thought about the instance myself, wishing I had given him better advice to how he could find the answers to his schoolwork and taught him better. It actually reminded me of an experience I had first semester with rock climbing. As a relatively big guy who is afraid of heights starting rock climbing with my class in the Outdoor Action program was anything but natural to me. I hated being up there on those rocks, and not being able to climb as quickly or be able to navigate as difficult features as some of my other classmates made it worse. At times I could hear myself saying in my mind that I would be stuck up there for a long time, unable to get down, and I would just stay there ...trapped.

Getting over my first couple times rock climbing was tough. In the beginning I remember discounting myself because I was not able to climb as difficult a route as some of my other friends in the group. I would be upset with myself because I didn't have the skill to move to more difficult routes. I was still learning how to climb, and it took me a while to learn the proper technique and form to move up the rock faces. Through this learning experience my classmates and professor would help me to learn what to look for in the cliffs, to find proper holds, and to trust the equipment.

One of the last rock climbing trips we went on was our class' trip to the Shawangunks in upstate New York. This world renown climbing spot was anything but a beginner's cliff at your local indoor rock gym. No, people came all over the world to climb these cliffs, some stretching over 200 feet into the sky.


Keep in mind that I had only started climbing just a couple months ago. I had learned a lot, but when I tell you I was fearful, trust me I did not think I would be able to get to the top of this monster. So we start our drive out to the Gunks and everyone seemed fine and dandy until you got to good old Tim Hegedus who is there just silently awaiting to face his doom. We drive up to the thing and we are still a decent ways away from it and I just see this massive form lurking in front of us.

By the end of this day I will have reached the top of this mountain.

To make things even more interesting I had to realize that I was going to be the one to take me there, my own two legs. Sure my guide was going to show me the routes, and I had received training and learned about climbing prior to this, but this was all me. Nobody was going to take me to the top but myself, and nobody would prevent me from reaching the top but myself. If anyone tried to tell me otherwise... even my own voice reminding me about the start of my climbing, I would have to respond,

"No, let me do it on my own."

I did. As the end of the day closed and we headed back around 5pm, I had climbed it not once but twice. Sure, the routes I climbed weren't as difficult as some of the ones my other classmates had climbed, but to me that was not the goal. I had to prove to myself that I would get there, that I would make it to the top by myself.

Now, please do not miss my point in this. I am not saying that everything in life needs to be done without anyone assisting or helping you in any way shape or form. Keep in mind that I had months of preparation, training, and lessons on the safety and techniques of climbing. My little brother received help in his worksheets from me and explanations before he boldly declared he wanted to do it on his own. Support from friends, family, and especially prayer before God before taking action is valuable. However never let other people dictate your own decisions and choices through life.

Personally, as a Christian my life choices rely on what His Word says and His plan to properly decide. Yet no one is able to choose the way I direct my life for me. A Christian's purpose to bringing honor to God through their life spreads to the choices and decisions they make, but they can make decisions to sin or to disobey just the same.

The point of this is however, when the rubber hits the road the only thing that is going to move you in life, is you. In the same way the only thing that will stop you is you. Christ is a perfect example of this a man who truly made the decision to lay down His life by his own choice.

John 10:18
No one takes it from me but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and take it up again. This command I received from my Father.

This is true, that Jesus gave up His own life for us as sinners by his own accord, but it also does not mean He didn't need help as He dealt with his purpose in dying for the sins of the world. Jesus in particular spent time in prayer, wherever He was and on many occasions. The Gospel of Luke emphasizes this theme as Jesus, prays unto the Father in the wilderness (Luke 5:16), away from crowds (Luke 21:41-44), and even upon the cross as He faced death (Luke 23:34 and 23:46). If Jesus, who was fully God himself earnestly and consistently found time to pray as he approached the purpose for His life, how much more should I when concerning my life's direction?

Now I am not going to go the easier route of just inspiring you to chase your dreams and aspirations no matter what they are and ending this post, primarily because there is an even deeper meaning to this story. There are some things in your life that only you can choose to do. People can help, give advice, but there are many things you have to do yourself.

If you have a friend who has wronged you or made you hurt, you choose to forgive them.
If you have a problem with someone else, you choose to speak to them personally.
If you have trouble getting along with another person, you can love them regardless.
If you want to get closer to someone, only you can make the time.
If you are dealing with sin, be aware of it and choose to pray unto God.
If you are regretting a decision, choose to learn from it and make it right.
If you are finding no value in what you are doing, make A Choice to Move.

Most importantly, do not bring yourself down. Never count yourself for anything less than you are capable of. Learn in every opportunity, receive help from the people that offer it, and take from your mistakes. At the end of the day life is not going to ask before it moves without you. The only thing that will move you during your life is you.


The "S" word

Several years ago I had the joy to work at NYS Psychiatric Institute. I came across many people... some for a reason, others for a season and a handful I pray for a lifetime.

From that handful - there is one woman in particular who always challenged me when it came to "religious stuff" with her countless questions, her "lovely" opinions, and her disagreements. Before she got married there was one word that would just drive her bonkers... if I wanted to get her going I just had to start a conversation using this word and on a roll she would go!!!

This dear friend is Martha. We worked on the same floor and would visit each others offices frequently - many times it was work related and other times - well it was to make the time go faster or cheer each other up.

Well what is this word that would drive Martha batty??  Submission...

Oh how I remember the day I mentioned it in conversation for the first time - the "Dominican" in her came out in full force - and she shared with me how she was not a doormat - and several other things she had in mind... It really didn't matter how I tried to explain it she just wasn't having it.

God is so very good - the years have now passed and she is married to an incredible man, whom she calls her Superman - she is a mom to a beautiful daughter and handsome boy - and her heart has now softened to where "submission" is no longer an ugly word - but its because of her love for her husband.

Yeah - a submissive wife. It still makes me chuckle. 

Today - our Pastor - Pastor Eric, shared on the different roles as wives, husbands, children, parents and workers and bosses - and it just bought up so many memories - and even though I had heard so many of the things he shared regarding the role of the wife - it was also good to be reminded of my call and my role in my marriage to Ray.

You see before I met Ray I was a single mom - I was in control of my life, my son and my home and everything in between... and having strong women in my family - submission didn't really come naturally. When we got married and this submission topic came up in our lives - I remember fighting for dear life. I felt like my identity was being stripped away from me... and this man (who I loved and was so very thankful for) was now going to be in control of my life and that of my son. ahhhhhhh!!!

Those first couple of years were very tough to put it nicely. The honeymoon stage came and went very quickly. I wanted to keep that control - and that "authority" over my life and especially that of my son. It took so much prayer and seeking the encouragement and love and support and counsel from Godly women who lived as Titus 2:3-5 instructed: 

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." 

I had a choice to make - give up fighting for control or work on my marriage. I learned to seek in Him, prayed for wisdom and His provision for me - even when I didn't know how it would turn out. God's molding of my heart hurt... it was not easy to let go of what I was used to and let God begin transforming my heart.

To submit to our husbands does not mean that we are a doormat or that we are to be abused physically or in any sense of the word.  God has called us to come alongside our husbands... to be his helpmate - as it is fitting to the Lord.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; 
I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18

I submit to my husband because it is what God is calling me to do as a Godly wife, it brings glory and honor to God - I am being obedient to Him - and it brings joy to my husband.

Our husbands greatest need is to be respected, and in being a submissive wife - we are respecting our husbands and respecting our marriage.  Several things I learned early on from my spiritual mom and other Godly women is that we are not to go to our friends and share details of our husband and what he does or doesn't do. I am so extremely careful about who I talk to in regards to my husband and my marriage - being in the ministry and my husband being an Elder at our church, I have to make sure my talk is honoring of him and that I only talk to women I trust and who will guide me through Scripture and that the conversation is more on what I should do and on how I should handle myself. Another lesson I learned is not to be critical of him or undermining him in public, or to others. Never disrespecting him, especially in front of the children. Talking bad about dad is never acceptable. We work together so that our children know that they can not manipulate us for their personal gain. 
 
To be a submissive wife requires prayer and an intimate relationship with Christ. I say this because the last thing my flesh wants to do is submit to my husband - especially when I'm having a really bad day.  But I am so very thankful to the Lord because you see when God bought Ray into my life - God knew exactly who I needed for a husband. Ray is not a very demanding man. Ray has never forced me to "submit" to him, but when necessary (and there has been a couple of times) he has called me out lovingly and in private when I "crossed the line".  I feel that my husband appreciates that I am a strong, responsible, thoughtful, intelligent, loving, and "opinionated" (well sometimes lol) woman and that I can bring these qualities into our marriage to enhance and balance our relationship.  I have learned that I must trust my husband to make the best decisions for our family, whether I understand them or not - whether I accept it or not. Ray is a very smart and wise man who loves God above all things - his desire is to be obedient to what God has called him to do and to honor God as the head of our home. 

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.  1 Corinthians 11:3

I know it is my husband who must answer to God for his decisions, not me and that is a huge load off my shoulders!!  Through the years I have learned not to interfere between God and my husband and what God may be trying to say to my husband as the leader of our family. From personal experience - that only caused harm to our marriage, to our children and our home. 

So I want to encourage you - to find joy in growing into a beautiful submissive wife.  The Lord will bless you and your home greatly.  You will bring joy to your husband - but first and foremost your will bring honor and glory to your Lord and Savior.  If you have a hard time submitting to your husband, pray about it, dig into God's word and pray that the Lord will send you a Titus 2 woman to encourage you and mentor you.  

And one last thing - if you are a mom to daughters or have girls in your life... remember you are their example - they are watching and listening to you closely... you are teaching them - by your actions - to be a woman of God, who seeks the Lord and wants to honor Him with their lives and their actions... including one day - maybe being a wife who lovingly submits to her husband.

She won't take no for an answer...

When we started the new year I made a commitment to be more involved in my children's spiritual lives.  Not forcing them but encouraging them to come together to share, pray and write in our "pretty red" journals.

It doesn't take long - maybe 10 to 15 minutes... we get together and pull out our journals and I ask what they want to talk about, any prayer requests, and work on our scripture memorization.

Its a way to dig deeper, strengthen our bond and direct them to Jesus...

Its been a little hard getting it going - it seems there is always something going on or some sort of "distraction" always popping up... and yes, we have missed a day or two and I try to make up for it.

But there is one little girl who has taken this task extremely seriously...  and when I say not tonight - she doesn't take it lightly.  She will pout and complain and even break into tears - that this is something we have to do.  She'll look for her book and her pen and plop herself on the couch.  The word "no" isn't an option. Not when it comes to what she is doing for Jesus.


So there have been nights that we will pray for others - I'll take down the prayer requests, we'll come together and pray and then she'll take my book and copy the prayers in her book because she doesn't write as fast as mommy.

After we are done... she'll fix her book and pen just right, and put it somewhere safe for tomorrow.

Its funny how some people are just gifted from so early on... she is my prayer warrior...

Whether its for a meal, someone not feeling well, at our devotionals, or quiet time together - we don't have to ask who wants to pray - because she is there front and center before anyone can even utter a word. So now we'll have her start and then have someone else take turns in closing...

My precious accountability partner...

"But Jesus called them to him, saying, 
“Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them,
 for to such belongs the kingdom of God." Luke 18:16

I am doing my best not to hinder my beautiful one or any of my children but to help them grow into the beautiful women and man God has created them to be.
 
The bible says that those whom the Lord blesses to be mothers should take the responsibility seriously. Mothers have a unique and crucial role in the lives of their children.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, 
and when you lie down, and when you rise. 
Deuteronomy 6:7

Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, 
and that they may teach their children so. 
Deuteronomy 4:10

Train up a child in the way he should go; 
even when he is old he will not depart from it. 
Proverbs 22:6

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children 
And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, 
a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 
Ephesians 5:1–2

Hear, my son, your father's instruction 
And do not forsake your mother's teaching.  
Proverbs 1:8


Background

Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines the word back·ground as:
noun, often attributive \ˈbak-ˌ(g)rau̇nd\
: the part of a scene or picture that is farthest from the viewer : the part of a scene that is behind a main figure or object in a painting, photograph, etc.
: a surface or color that is behind or around something (such as a printed design)
: a position that attracts little attention

On Tuesday mornings I am attending a bible study.  

Its a big deal that I am able to attend because its during work and praise God my Pastor has encouraged me to attend!!

The bible study is a simple bible study.  We are studying the book of James. It has been an incredible blessing to get together with other women and dig deep into this book and see what we can learn from it and how we can apply it to our lives.  

So what is the connection between background and the book of James...

The teacher...


The lady leading this bible study is Sue Santos.  I, and many others find her to be an incredible woman of God with a beautiful and humble heart.  She is an encourager, always pointing you to the Lord.  In the midst of whatever situation she may be facing - she is always thinking of others and how can she serve them.  She has had her ups and downs in life as many of us have had - but from what I know of her, what others have shared of her, what she has shared... Sue has never compromised or taken the easy way out.  She had to grow up very young in life but always strived to do and be the very best she could despite whatever circumstances she could be facing.

When I was thinking about Sue - a dear friend Rebekah came to mind - she is another young lady who thinks highly of Sue and knows her well.  I asked her to share her thoughts on Sue to get someone else's viewpoint... and these are the beautiful words she had to say:

"When I think of Sue, I think of my favorite verse Psalm 16:8.
"I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken."
I see a woman that God has used in so many ways to keep her family together. To raise her sons and daughter. She is an exceptional grandmother and such a wise woman.
Very few know the pain she lives with because she's not one to complain
For me, she is what David writes about in this verse. Facing challenges her whole life, but because she has always put the Lord first, she will not be shaken.
I hope to be like that one day. That people will see me and know that it's Christ who is my strength,
She's awesome."

You see one word that Sue has repeated several times in our bible studies is the word background... Sue does not like the spotlight on her but on Jesus... its all about Him and making sure He is front and center of our conversations, of our studies.  She always wants to make sure that the study doesn't take a detour and become about her in any way... and she repeats how she is in the background... 

Each time I hear her say this - I am reminded of the song by Lecrae - Background. The first time I heard her say it and describe why she was saying it the song came to mind - its like she was quoting the lyrics.  Some of the lyrics are:
"It's evident You run the show, so let me back down.
You take the leading role, and I'll play the background.
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I'm sticking to Your script, and I'm reading all Your signs.
I don't need my name in lights.
I don't need a starring role.
And why gain the whole wide world, if I'm just gon' loose my soul.
And my ways ain't pure if I don't live according to Your Word.
I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard.
So word to every dancer for a pop star,
Cause we all play the background, but mine's a Rock Star.
Yeah. So if you need me I'll be stage right.
Prayin' the whole world will start embracing stage fright.
So let me fall back and stop giving my suggestions
Cause when I follow my obsessions I end up confessing.
That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact I'm who I are.
A trail of star dust leading to the Superstar."

I am blessed to have this incredible woman of God in my life and my children's lives. I am thankful that I am able to learn from her - not only what teaches during bible study - but by her actions... Thankful that when I sit to speak to her - she isn't sharing her opinions or suggestions - but sharing scripture and pointing me towards Him.

Thank you Sue for being in the background, so that His light may shine through you!  This song is for you!!