Tim, or Mr. Timoteo as I lovingly call this young man - is just a blessing and inspiration to me personally and to my family. He was a part of our youth group and well I am trying to think of the word to describe him - but none comes to mind... He is just a well balanced young man. He could joke around with the best of them, perform some cool rap songs at the youth talent show retreats, and to top it off preach a great message or two - or was it three!!! It has been incredible to see him grow and mature into the young man he is today.
When he is home during his school breaks - he joins us in CrossLife - our young adult ministry... and to listen to what he is doing and how he has changed just brings so much joy to my heart. Tim is now a freshman at Carin University. He started a blog last week and this is one of his entries which I wanted to share with you. I want to encourage you to visit his blog: achoicetomove.weebly.com and follow him on his journey. I know you will be incredibly blessed!
We both sat at the table, my little brother looking at the papers like they were written in Egyptian and there was no way he could decipher the hieroglyphs. "I need help Tim," he said as he looked up to me. "Okay, I'll help," I said. I turned the paper towards me as we both worked our way through the first 6 addition problems (pretty tough stuff for a five-year old). After around ten minutes we were done and we moved on to the subtraction problems, but with these my brother was immediately discouraged past the single-digits.
We tried everything from counting on his fingers, exchanging coins, and even counting in order. After 15 minutes however, Danny was exhausted and I could see it on his face as he grew frustrated with each attempt. He could probably see the same look on my face as I tried explaining to him how easy it was over and over. "I'm going to be stuck here for a million billion years!" "Only you can decide that Danny," I said to him.
"I can't do it," he said calmly. After a couple minutes of me trying to help him he had this defeated look in his eyes and he sat looking up to me to give him the answers to the problems. "Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something Danny, not even yourself," I said to him. "The only one that is going to stop you is you." He looked down at the paper, silent but still frustrated. "Do you need any help?" I asked.
"No, let me do it on my own."
To this I was a bit surprised, but let him be, I told him to come ask me if he needed anything. I sat down in the next room and waited. 5 minutes passed, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, then 20, until finally my mom and dad came home. Wishing we had gotten more of his work done I said to my mom a bit irritated, "Yea mom, Danny was having such a hard time with the math and reading sheets." "Relax Tim, he is still learning," she said to me.
In the next days I thought about the instance myself, wishing I had given him better advice to how he could find the answers to his schoolwork and taught him better. It actually reminded me of an experience I had first semester with rock climbing. As a relatively big guy who is afraid of heights starting rock climbing with my class in the Outdoor Action program was anything but natural to me. I hated being up there on those rocks, and not being able to climb as quickly or be able to navigate as difficult features as some of my other classmates made it worse. At times I could hear myself saying in my mind that I would be stuck up there for a long time, unable to get down, and I would just stay there ...trapped.
Getting over my first couple times rock climbing was tough. In the beginning I remember discounting myself because I was not able to climb as difficult a route as some of my other friends in the group. I would be upset with myself because I didn't have the skill to move to more difficult routes. I was still learning how to climb, and it took me a while to learn the proper technique and form to move up the rock faces. Through this learning experience my classmates and professor would help me to learn what to look for in the cliffs, to find proper holds, and to trust the equipment.
One of the last rock climbing trips we went on was our class' trip to the Shawangunks in upstate New York. This world renown climbing spot was anything but a beginner's cliff at your local indoor rock gym. No, people came all over the world to climb these cliffs, some stretching over 200 feet into the sky.
Keep in mind that I had only started climbing just a couple months ago. I had learned a lot, but when I tell you I was fearful, trust me I did not think I would be able to get to the top of this monster. So we start our drive out to the Gunks and everyone seemed fine and dandy until you got to good old Tim Hegedus who is there just silently awaiting to face his doom. We drive up to the thing and we are still a decent ways away from it and I just see this massive form lurking in front of us.
By the end of this day I will have reached the top of this mountain.
To make things even more interesting I had to realize that I was going to be the one to take me there, my own two legs. Sure my guide was going to show me the routes, and I had received training and learned about climbing prior to this, but this was all me. Nobody was going to take me to the top but myself, and nobody would prevent me from reaching the top but myself. If anyone tried to tell me otherwise... even my own voice reminding me about the start of my climbing, I would have to respond,
"No, let me do it on my own."
I did. As the end of the day closed and we headed back around 5pm, I had climbed it not once but twice. Sure, the routes I climbed weren't as difficult as some of the ones my other classmates had climbed, but to me that was not the goal. I had to prove to myself that I would get there, that I would make it to the top by myself.
Now, please do not miss my point in this. I am not saying that everything in life needs to be done without anyone assisting or helping you in any way shape or form. Keep in mind that I had months of preparation, training, and lessons on the safety and techniques of climbing. My little brother received help in his worksheets from me and explanations before he boldly declared he wanted to do it on his own. Support from friends, family, and especially prayer before God before taking action is valuable. However never let other people dictate your own decisions and choices through life.
Personally, as a Christian my life choices rely on what His Word says and His plan to properly decide. Yet no one is able to choose the way I direct my life for me. A Christian's purpose to bringing honor to God through their life spreads to the choices and decisions they make, but they can make decisions to sin or to disobey just the same.
The point of this is however, when the rubber hits the road the only thing that is going to move you in life, is you. In the same way the only thing that will stop you is you. Christ is a perfect example of this a man who truly made the decision to lay down His life by his own choice.
John 10:18
No one takes it from me but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and take it up again. This command I received from my Father.
This is true, that Jesus gave up His own life for us as sinners by his own accord, but it also does not mean He didn't need help as He dealt with his purpose in dying for the sins of the world. Jesus in particular spent time in prayer, wherever He was and on many occasions. The Gospel of Luke emphasizes this theme as Jesus, prays unto the Father in the wilderness (Luke 5:16), away from crowds (Luke 21:41-44), and even upon the cross as He faced death (Luke 23:34 and 23:46). If Jesus, who was fully God himself earnestly and consistently found time to pray as he approached the purpose for His life, how much more should I when concerning my life's direction?
Now I am not going to go the easier route of just inspiring you to chase your dreams and aspirations no matter what they are and ending this post, primarily because there is an even deeper meaning to this story. There are some things in your life that only you can choose to do. People can help, give advice, but there are many things you have to do yourself.
If you have a friend who has wronged you or made you hurt, you choose to forgive them.
If you have a problem with someone else, you choose to speak to them personally.
If you have trouble getting along with another person, you can love them regardless.
If you want to get closer to someone, only you can make the time.
If you are dealing with sin, be aware of it and choose to pray unto God.
If you are regretting a decision, choose to learn from it and make it right.
If you are finding no value in what you are doing, make A Choice to Move.
Most importantly, do not bring yourself down. Never count yourself for anything less than you are capable of. Learn in every opportunity, receive help from the people that offer it, and take from your mistakes. At the end of the day life is not going to ask before it moves without you. The only thing that will move you during your life is you.
