This morning I had the pleasure of reading the following piece. It was written by a young man in our CrossLife Ministry. When I was reading it - the words just came out at me... Brandon always has a way with words - I hope you enjoy it... and my "notes" at the end!!
I sit and wonder why, all I hear are sounds of a cry. Shackled and bound by the metal and wood, escape if only i could. Peering through the lens of another, why does it feel like such a bother. As if it ensnares me held to keep, the only thing i can do is weep.
Five, seven, eleven, how many are there? I try to count them but it never seems to end. Glaring, staring, following you everywhere you go. They don't seem to go away no matter where I go. And when I finally think I'm free, I put my hand on my face and there it is again. Grasping, glued, plastered to my face as if a second layer of skin. How did I not notice before? How long has it been there? Minutes, hours, days, weeks, when did I lose myself? Or have I ever been myself?
For as long as I can remember, I can't seem to find mine. After a while I feel like just giving up. To never search for it, to settle. Settle with failure and sadness. Settle for darkness and oppression. To settle for something not meant for me.
All of you have been placed upon me, for my betterment and protection. But all I see is something not of me. A hush with no face, no desire, no opinion, no destination of its own. You did your best, but now I'm worse off. Struggling when I shouldn't be. Questioning when I shouldn't have to. Searching when I should already be there.
I don't really know where to start to find mine, and the only place I can start is with all of these. Feelings, emotions, wants, desires, hope, sadness, happiness, grief, oppression. So many things were used to forge the masks that have been laid upon me. What should mine be made from? Where's the one meant for me? Which one do I need to wear to be me? Or maybe just for now we need to wear one. Because one day we will have no use for them. Because nothing will be hidden and all will be shown.
Brandon Williams
What does it mean to be a part of the family of God?
It means, that God knows you and has seen behind your last mask...
God sees through the mask right down to the “real you”. He sees all the flaws and mistakes and failures and yet loves us completely and unconditionally. Isn't it comforting to know how much He loves us?
Psalm 139 tells us that God searches us and knows us. He knows us completely, from the inside out. He knows a word before it even reaches our tongue.
You know, it is true that we all wear a lot of different masks these days. Our masks are our protection from a not so nice and unaccepting world. They become a barrier between yourself and others. You meet someone on the street, or at the store or even at church - yes church - and they ask you how you are doing.
You put on your smile, say fine and ask them the same thing and they put on their smile and say fine and then you both go your separate ways feeling miserable. The Lord is familiar with our ways. He isn't surprised by us. He knows every thought, every worry, every joy, every hurt. There is no where we can run from His Spirit, no where to escape His love, no mask to hide our person from Him. With God, we can stop pretending, take off our mask, and allow Him to love us.
“…being confident of this,
that he who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6
