So for those who have not had the honor of listening to my wonderful husband share how he "dumped" me twice... and how he "chased" me for three months for a date... here is what really happened...
Many many years ago in Washington Heights, NY... there was this young lady who had come out of a very abusive relationship. She was still healing from the wounds of the abuse that were no longer visible. She had a little boy named Benny... oh he bought her so much joy... he was her reason for survival. After much turmoil and finally saving some money they were finally able to find a place of there own, a place to call home.
Across the bride in Clifton, NJ... there was a young man who was going through his own struggles... trying to get his life back in order. He had a little boy that he was doing his best to raise. There were alot of changes going on in his life and he believed he had it all under control.
She had just accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior... He had just recommitted his life to the Lord...
I remember it was a Friday in April of 1993 approximate 7:30pm... I was at the young adults meeting... sitting all the way in the front... someone walks into the sanctuary and we all turn around, and here comes this guy dressed in black... with perfect hair... wearing a black leather jacket... making his way toward our meeting. He takes a seat... and our eyes meet, and we go back to listening to what was being shared, and that was how God introduced us to each other.
Ray continued coming to our church... whenever there was something happening at Primera Iglesia Bautista de Manhattan - he was there. He even joined the church choir (such a coincidence that I happened to be part of the choir also) It was cool and stuff to know that he was interested in me... but I was finally happy... I was trying to raise my son - who was a handful, I was busy serving in the church, surrounded by awesome people, and the nightmares were gone.
As much as my flesh craved a relationship, I just wasn't interested. I was finally discovering who I was - my identity was no longer the girl who disobeyed her parents, or the girl who married the wrong guy, or the girl who was abused, or the girl who was struggling. Now I was Deborah... I was finding my identity in Christ... I didn't have it all together, I still had my struggles - but God was showing me through His Word, through my spiritual mom Ligia, through other women of the church who I was in Him and I loved that. I just wanted to soak in that....
But Ray didn't stop pursuing me... and because of a "bet" he made with one of his friends... he asked me out... and in September we started dating... it was awesome... but there were alot of issues going on and in November things changed, I couldn't make sense of it... I remember it clearly because I was going to get baptized and he didn't come. When we spoke he told me there were alot of things going on in his life and this wasn't the right time for a relationship. WHAT??!! Are you kidding me... That was a heartbreak because I allowed myself to open up to someone - to trust again.
Life continued... sort of... and one day we got back together again as if nothing had happened.... but it only lasted a few months... things just weren't right. The pain was worse than the first time. I was devastated.
I stopped everything - I got depressed and I was not understanding what God was doing and why He was doing this to me - I was doing everything right!!! My spiritual mom who didn't give up on me during this time shook me up. She would come by, call me, pray for me, read scripture, and she reminded me of my life verse... Psalm 37:4 - "Delight youself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." And that is when God began to do a major over haul in both of our lives... God bought people in to my life who taught me what service to God was... I got more involved with the youth group at our church and the women's ministry. I was able to travel and go to youth conferences and women's conferences and trainings and even lead several conferences... my relationship with Him was just growing and getting deeper...
Ray was doing the same thing...serving at his church, being part of the Fellowship of Spanish Churches, he became the youth leader at his church.. he was learning, studying, attending seminary...
And yes, we met other people... and in time started new relationships. But those relationships fell apart... On Easter of 1998 I sent out my Easter cards including one for Ray - part of me knew he was the man that God had for me and this was my way to see if there was any possibility for "us"... When he received the card he called me and we spoke for a very long time on the phone... and continued to talk on the phone for a couple of more days until we were ready to meet.
Our relationship started again... it was different this time, we had people who were praying for us and with us, mentoring us not just regarding ministry, but regarding life. October of 1998 he proposed to me at the Seaport in downtown NY... the same exact spot where we had our first kiss... and on April of 1999 we became one.
I didn't write this to share our love story, even though I love to share it because I can see how God worked in both of our lives... but I did so to share that God has a plan for each of our lives... and when we submit to Him and call Him Lord - we are saying that we want Him to have complete control of every area of our lives.... No matter what Ray and myself tried to do to make our relationship work... God wanted our lives first and foremost... He had to be the priority in our lives... We had to discover who we were in Him. For me - it was a very painful experience - but it was through that pain that God worked in my life and made Himself so very real and personal to me. God had to strip us and become real to us so that we knew that He was the one that bought us together... My friend, whatever it is that you are going through... as painful and as difficult as it may be, its not impossible for God, its nothing new for Him. Maybe its all part of His plan... does He want to reveal something to you:? Teach you something? Calling out to you?
She had just accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior... He had just recommitted his life to the Lord...
*****
I remember it was a Friday in April of 1993 approximate 7:30pm... I was at the young adults meeting... sitting all the way in the front... someone walks into the sanctuary and we all turn around, and here comes this guy dressed in black... with perfect hair... wearing a black leather jacket... making his way toward our meeting. He takes a seat... and our eyes meet, and we go back to listening to what was being shared, and that was how God introduced us to each other.
Ray continued coming to our church... whenever there was something happening at Primera Iglesia Bautista de Manhattan - he was there. He even joined the church choir (such a coincidence that I happened to be part of the choir also) It was cool and stuff to know that he was interested in me... but I was finally happy... I was trying to raise my son - who was a handful, I was busy serving in the church, surrounded by awesome people, and the nightmares were gone.
As much as my flesh craved a relationship, I just wasn't interested. I was finally discovering who I was - my identity was no longer the girl who disobeyed her parents, or the girl who married the wrong guy, or the girl who was abused, or the girl who was struggling. Now I was Deborah... I was finding my identity in Christ... I didn't have it all together, I still had my struggles - but God was showing me through His Word, through my spiritual mom Ligia, through other women of the church who I was in Him and I loved that. I just wanted to soak in that....
But Ray didn't stop pursuing me... and because of a "bet" he made with one of his friends... he asked me out... and in September we started dating... it was awesome... but there were alot of issues going on and in November things changed, I couldn't make sense of it... I remember it clearly because I was going to get baptized and he didn't come. When we spoke he told me there were alot of things going on in his life and this wasn't the right time for a relationship. WHAT??!! Are you kidding me... That was a heartbreak because I allowed myself to open up to someone - to trust again.
Life continued... sort of... and one day we got back together again as if nothing had happened.... but it only lasted a few months... things just weren't right. The pain was worse than the first time. I was devastated.
I stopped everything - I got depressed and I was not understanding what God was doing and why He was doing this to me - I was doing everything right!!! My spiritual mom who didn't give up on me during this time shook me up. She would come by, call me, pray for me, read scripture, and she reminded me of my life verse... Psalm 37:4 - "Delight youself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." And that is when God began to do a major over haul in both of our lives... God bought people in to my life who taught me what service to God was... I got more involved with the youth group at our church and the women's ministry. I was able to travel and go to youth conferences and women's conferences and trainings and even lead several conferences... my relationship with Him was just growing and getting deeper...
Ray was doing the same thing...serving at his church, being part of the Fellowship of Spanish Churches, he became the youth leader at his church.. he was learning, studying, attending seminary...
And yes, we met other people... and in time started new relationships. But those relationships fell apart... On Easter of 1998 I sent out my Easter cards including one for Ray - part of me knew he was the man that God had for me and this was my way to see if there was any possibility for "us"... When he received the card he called me and we spoke for a very long time on the phone... and continued to talk on the phone for a couple of more days until we were ready to meet.
Our relationship started again... it was different this time, we had people who were praying for us and with us, mentoring us not just regarding ministry, but regarding life. October of 1998 he proposed to me at the Seaport in downtown NY... the same exact spot where we had our first kiss... and on April of 1999 we became one.
I didn't write this to share our love story, even though I love to share it because I can see how God worked in both of our lives... but I did so to share that God has a plan for each of our lives... and when we submit to Him and call Him Lord - we are saying that we want Him to have complete control of every area of our lives.... No matter what Ray and myself tried to do to make our relationship work... God wanted our lives first and foremost... He had to be the priority in our lives... We had to discover who we were in Him. For me - it was a very painful experience - but it was through that pain that God worked in my life and made Himself so very real and personal to me. God had to strip us and become real to us so that we knew that He was the one that bought us together... My friend, whatever it is that you are going through... as painful and as difficult as it may be, its not impossible for God, its nothing new for Him. Maybe its all part of His plan... does He want to reveal something to you:? Teach you something? Calling out to you?
If you are lost, confused, need prayer, wisdom, direction... reach out, call out... He will answer you and / or He will send someone your way...
Remember my friend you are loved beyond words... xoxoxo
